do you become a baby/kid at times

i do this almost every day. it mostly happens after i wake up in the morning or when i'm going to bed. i become a child n act like one. imagine my friends are cuddling me n showering me with attention.

after 10/15 minutes i'll get out of this phase n then i feel remorse at having such thoughts. like it may never go.

It acts more like a mood swing for me where I get it for a few hours.

-Scarlet

^ Same here, it's never full blown and usually comes with mood swings for me.

Thought to elaborate, it comes with mood swings and kind of acts like one but basically my voice actually pitches up, I get all the desires for cuddles and stuffed toys (provided Bloody Violence isn't going to front and rip their heads off) and stuff, I become even more emotionally unstable (somehow, although it worth noting that since I've started anti depressants I realized all my borderline symptoms were becoming worse, like my severe depression had suppressed them, so I hate to know what I'll be like now), I also tend to act more selfishly (somehow) and have a shorter fuse than usual (somehow).

I have experienced this maybe 4 times, the first time it happened one of my alters actually thought we had a new alter that was pretending to be me but she picked up pretty quickly. I find it is usually a stress thing, I'm more prone to it after remembering my childhood, my parents are being manipulative, I'm coming down after the usual hysterics, disassociation and self destructive behaviours when I feel abandoned or lonely, etc.

I don't know if anybody else experiences it when they feel stressed or it seems like a response to it.

-Scarlet

When I am in my worst places, yes. It comes out in my speech, body language...it kind of freaks me out when it happens tbh. Because of course when I act that way, I am super vulnerable.

anyway to stop this? or is it meant for life?

If it's a mood swing thing then it comes and goes as our disorder allows, it might also be interesting to know if childhood abuse could trigger it, most of the time BPD develops from emotional abuse and neglect as a child but it might still be interesting.

Personally, these are the things that go beyond just nelgect which I can remember, my DID means a lot of my childhood is locked away in alters, however.

*TW SEVERE ABUSE*
-My father strangled me at least once until I almost blacked out
-My parents at some point locked me away in a black closet
-My parents ignored the severe psychical and emotional bullying that was going on at school (years prep to 2) or I was punished, often by isolation or slapping
-There were physical fights with my father
*TW ENDED*

I was also thinking about the fact that it seems people who have BPD symptoms in early childhood are more likely to develop DID (probably one of the main reasons I developed DID in the first place) and I was wondering that if it was related to abuse maybe there was a little bit of fragmenting or disassociation to try and protect this innocent child part, for example, I have 4 alters under the age of 10 and 2 under the age of 9 (Quiet, Arabella Rose, Autumn, Amber), some of these are very similar to the general experiences described where their body language, behaviour, emotions, voice and desires change. It's just a theory but something worth noting.

Probably annoying you all with my DID talk, I'll go now.

-Scarlet

-- Sun Jan 31, 2016 5:21 pm --

Actually, I have an alter called Fear who is basically the BPD inner voice if you get paranoia (I already did so she usually just ends up preaching to the choir) but it's interesting in general.

"Become"? I'm always a kid in a 34 year old's body

It could be regression, which is common with BPD.

NimplyDinply wrote:It could be regression, which is common with BPD.

Regression is common with BPD? I didn't know that. I know a lot of defense (and coping) mechanisms are used by those with BPD, so I'm not surprised if I'm honest. haha.

I used to/still do to an extent around men I like lol