Drunk texting and being ignored....

This guy I liked was messaging me for hours telling me that he couldn't wait to see me and missed me...etc. A few days later I sent him a text saying 'hello - how are you?'

He ignored me. This happened again a month later....

So I got angry and frustrated. I've written about this story before. Then I got drunk a few times and sent him some angry messages on snapchat....

He ignored them too. I've never heard from him again. This all happened a few months ago... then the other day I sent him a short message and he ignored me again.

If someone else told me this story - I would tell them to completely forget about this guy - move on - he is either crazy or does not want to have anything more to do with me.

But my brain will not let it go. I've tried everything to forget about him. I even slept with someone else... I keep getting tempted to send him another message telling him everything I feel...
I know there is no point. He ignores me and I am obviously being a fool. I don't know why he was so 'into' me and then suddenly not.

I want to scream I feel so frustrated by all of this.

I know quite a few guys who have done this to a girl, it usually is because they're a bit freaked out that they seemed too enthusiastic and were giving too much. Obviously these are the guys with commitment issues lol. Or sometimes they were just stringing the girl along.

You're right to be frustrated, though. I hate all the BS games that some people play, you know? But having heard these guys who've done this to girls talk, trust me, it's never about the girl. It's always about the guy and his own fears and insecurities, or, if he's stringing a girl along, the fact that he's an inconsiderate jerk.

It sucks but I don't think you're going to get the answers or the closure you're looking for from him. But I wonder, at this point, are you unable to get him off your mind because you liked him that much, or is it because you want answers and you want to feel heard?

Ignoring a fellow human being without having the good grace to provide an explanation as to why is unforgivably rude. Don't waste another precious moment on this sad excuse for a man.

I really liked him (more than anybody else in my life) but I also wanted to know why he would do something like that to me. It makes no sense. Extremely hot then cold then hot...... I keep having the feeling he has bpd.... I keep thinking maybe that's why we clicked so well.

I know there's no point writing to him. It has been weird from the start though. I never clicked with someone like that before.

He went silent for a month then came back strong telling me he had stopped smoking/drinking etc and felt the same about me and couldn't wait to see me.... so much to talk about and then silence again.

We were very open from the moment we met and we just talked and talked about everything non stop for a day and a night. The sex was amazing but I must admit - I was quite freaked out. I wanted to see him again soon afterwards but was also panicked at the idea. I got the feeling he was too....

Why does life give you what you want and then take it away? I felt so certain that he felt the same about me. I am so confused. I think about him every single day and I've not seen him since August!

-- Sun Jan 17, 2016 12:57 am --

Ignoring is one thing - not nice but after the endless messages telling me how he couldn't wait to see me has left me speechless. I just can't get my head around it.

More and more the thoughts that are coming into my head is that he is a coward. I don't want to think this about him but it seems that it might be a possibility. Maybe he noticed that I removed him from fb, whatsapp etc.......

I know I am wasting my time. It's so frustrating. Sorry about my rant. I feel that nobody else understands what I am going through.

pirateeye wrote:I really liked him (more than anybody else in my life) but I also wanted to know why he would do something like that to me. It makes no sense. Extremely hot then cold then hot...... I keep having the feeling he has bpd.... I keep thinking maybe that's why we clicked so well.

Its quite possible he has his own issues yes

pirateeye wrote:He went silent for a month then came back strong telling me he had stopped smoking/drinking etc and felt the same about me and couldn't wait to see me.... so much to talk about and then silence again.

Self soothing, and sharing it with you...it a bout him not you...he wants validation.
(Ive had this convo recently, and makes sense here i noticed)

pirateeye wrote:Why does life give you what you want and then take it away?

Because we have lessons to learn

pirateeye wrote:Ignoring is one thing - not nice but after the endless messages telling me how he couldn't wait to see me has left me speechless. I just can't get my head around it.

Thoughts change, thats how it can be sometimes, if he has got BPD then it would make sense but because you dont know if he has/hasnt your confused and rightly so.

pirateeye wrote:More and more the thoughts that are coming into my head is that he is a coward. I don't want to think this about him but it seems that it might be a possibility. Maybe he noticed that I removed him from fb, whatsapp etc.......

Deletion of contacts
Did you delete to "teach him a lesson" to make him crawl back?
Are you keeping him deleted permanently?

pirateeye wrote:I know I am wasting my time. It's so frustrating. Sorry about my rant. I feel that nobody else understands what I am going through.

You have every right to be annoyed, and your are not alone in this, we all know what you feel like "one way or another" and here is the best place to rant so never be sorry for that

they ether go for it full force or you need to let it go
imho

Thank you for your reply... about the deleting him - I did that so that I would stop stalking him!! I wanted to get him out of my mind but nothing worked!

It seems more likely to me that he too has bpd....

I think this because of the following (below):

I'm curious what you think - although we can never really judge...

-He has an extreme fear of rejection
-He has unstable relationships with people (friends)....we spoke at length about cutting people out of our lives
-He has some addictions (weed)...
-He doesn't seem to know what he wants - or who he is - he changes his life direction easily and goes from one job/occupation to another.
-He is a bit of a people pleaser
-He is a bit wreckless/impulsive
-He seems to still be emotionally attached to an ex from a long time ago (maybe more than a year)
-He is very sensitive to critizism to the point where he will deny reality

Doesn't sound like a good list?! Maybe he is a Narcissist or a psychopath? I don't know....

I know now that he is not good for me - I still have to keep reminding myself of the negative things... I'm ok for a while but then the positive thoughts of him come back to my mind

He seemed so bright and considerate. That's what I liked about him. It seemed that we had the same views on life, the same sense of humor and the same interests...... I loved talking to him and when we had sex - I lost my mind completely.

I was so convinced he was sincere and when he said he would let me know which days he'd visit me - I assumed he was being honest. I wonder if he wanted to use me for something?

I think actually (after reading another thread) that we both had put each other 'up' there - infatuation.... Idealized. He told me how he had been thinking about me and how pleasant it was.....

Perhaps I got devalued? Maybe he didn't like me getting drunk and sending him incoherent messages about how I don't like being treated like an asshole (and ignored)?

I felt like I was talking to another version of myself when we were together. It was remarkable. Looking back - maybe it felt like that because maybe he is bpd? It would explain a lot. That doesn't put me off him. The only thing that puts me off him is the thought that he would be obsessing over me. That would kind of creep me out - or if he really wanted to be with me. Then I'd probably go right off him. . I'm nuts!

Hi pirateeye,
Ofc no one can say for sure what his behaviors are but its clear that yes he does have so issues from what you have stated, and for that reason you might be able to see this with "new eyes"

Once we figure out that a person has some issues and there not just being an asshole then we can treat the situation differently (or i can now) couldn't at the time when i didn't have the knowledge.

So hopeful you have had a "ping" moment were you have realized "the other side" and that's a great thing, whether he has or not doesn't really matter just having the ability to see it in a different way for yourself helps anyway so its good IMO

Like you said on last post
You could have been devalued, but as you know doesn't last long usually.

It's weird but - for the first time - I think I am going off him. I think being reminded of our ability to devalue - is helping me do this. I didn't want to because I thought he would come back....

But now I am forcing myself to focus my attention on his negative aspects. It seems to be working well although I feel sad as I do this. I must do it so that I can move on. Focus on the negative and not the positive! (Never thought that would be a positive thing)!!

There is a part of me that is torn inside when I think that he might be suffering and not able to be open because of his emotional 'issues'.... but I have to decide that I am not willing to be treated like that.

Everything may have been perfect when we were together but it would never stay like that - so really I am living in a fantasy.

I think I am just talking out loud to myself at this stage!