Belaboring the point?

Do any of you find that you do this - especially in a particularly toxic mood or in the context of a toxic relationship - if someone hurts you, you let them know very directly but you won't shut up about it, even after they apologize?

I'm a very direct and honest person, but it's definitely to a fault when I can't stop "explaining my feelings" to death, which is really just a euphemism for shaming the person into the ground. This is a fighting tactic that really wore out my last relationship and I feel particularly awful about it now, with some distance and clarity. I would not let go of the issue even after my partner had admitted wrongdoing. I suppose in the context of that relationship, the same things kept happening and I never felt the apologies were sincere or heartfelt - but that could very well have been me being extremely sensitive.

I don't do this anymore and I feel I've come a tremendously long way in managing my emotions - but then again, I'm single, so I fear this habit coming back in another relationship. Part of me thinks (hopes) that I wouldn't do this with a partner who was very open and accommodating. My last partner was an addict at the time, and very unreliable (one of my main triggers...) so no matter how upfront I was about my needs, they were never met. Do any of you relate to this bad habit?

Definitely .....and it breaks my heart that I have done this....definitely what you might call perseverating. ..

mgm1817 wrote:Do any of you find that you do this - especially in a particularly toxic mood or in the context of a toxic relationship - if someone hurts you, you let them know very directly but you won't shut up about it, even after they apologize?

I'm a very direct and honest person, but it's definitely to a fault when I can't stop "explaining my feelings" to death, which is really just a euphemism for shaming the person into the ground. This is a fighting tactic that really wore out my last relationship and I feel particularly awful about it now, with some distance and clarity. I would not let go of the issue even after my partner had admitted wrongdoing. I suppose in the context of that relationship, the same things kept happening and I never felt the apologies were sincere or heartfelt - but that could very well have been me being extremely sensitive.

I don't do this anymore and I feel I've come a tremendously long way in managing my emotions - but then again, I'm single, so I fear this habit coming back in another relationship. Part of me thinks (hopes) that I wouldn't do this with a partner who was very open and accommodating. My last partner was an addict at the time, and very unreliable (one of my main triggers...) so no matter how upfront I was about my needs, they were never met. Do any of you relate to this bad habit?

mgm

If the same things kept happening what choice did you have but to labour your point?