New and saying hello

Wanted to poke my head in and say hi instead of being a lurker. I don't know how much I'll post just yet.

I have struggled with ADD, 'borderline tendencies', depression and anxiety/C-PTSD most of my adult life and my daughter was just recently diagnosed with full-blown BPD, persistent depression, & marijuana usage disorder (<-lmao on the last one).

Anyway, trying to gleam insight and hopefully a support group of fellow BPDs as well.
Side note: I have all the criteria need to be BPD myself, but without the diagnosis.

Welcome to the forum Stony.

hI stony and welcome

ADD/ADHD was my sons diagnosis years ago, would be valuable knowledge for me to learn from your side, when you feel up to sharing

Echinacea wrote:hI stony and welcome

ADD/ADHD was my sons diagnosis years ago, would be valuable knowledge for me to learn from your side, when you feel up to sharing

Oh, sure thing. I have a son with ADHD so I can explain the hyperactive side of it as well. For now though, its not a deficit in attention, like the name suggests. The brain filters incoming information automatically in order to filter out information that is not needed. That's important to keep our cognitive perceptions and memory areas from being overloaded. ADD is a deficit in filtering out, and thereby can overload cognitive areas. ADD is literally a problem with attention surplus.

Stony wrote:Oh, sure thing. I have a son with ADHD so I can explain the hyperactive side of it as well. For now though, its not a deficit in attention, like the name suggests. The brain filters incoming information automatically in order to filter out information that is not needed. That's important to keep our cognitive perceptions and memory areas from being overloaded. ADD is a deficit in filtering out, and thereby can overload cognitive areas. ADD is literally a problem with attention surplus.

Thank you for your reply Stony,I understand the "condition" side of it, its more the "untold version" so to speak...like what is life like ..how it makes you feel etc...its just once my son explain he doesn't/didn't hear me when i used to scream and shout at him (when i wasn't aware) of his condition, he explain that it sounded like blah blah blah ...he caught a few words in a 15 mins conversation. ofc my son/s were diagnosed 18-20 years ago so times/knowledge has got to have changed a lot...if you know what i mean?

Hey, Stony! Welcome to the BPD forums. I hope we're able to provide any support and understanding you may solicit. Don't forget to read the forum guidelines before further posting.

That being said, pleased to meet you. It's nice to have new people in the community.

Happy posting!

Echinacea wrote:

Stony wrote:Oh, sure thing. I have a son with ADHD so I can explain the hyperactive side of it as well. For now though, its not a deficit in attention, like the name suggests. The brain filters incoming information automatically in order to filter out information that is not needed. That's important to keep our cognitive perceptions and memory areas from being overloaded. ADD is a deficit in filtering out, and thereby can overload cognitive areas. ADD is literally a problem with attention surplus.

Thank you for your reply Stony,I understand the "condition" side of it, its more the "untold version" so to speak...like what is life like ..how it makes you feel etc...its just once my son explain he doesn't/didn't hear me when i used to scream and shout at him (when i wasn't aware) of his condition, he explain that it sounded like blah blah blah ...he caught a few words in a 15 mins conversation. ofc my son/s were diagnosed 18-20 years ago so times/knowledge has got to have changed a lot...if you know what i mean?

Yes, I know what you mean. My son does the same thing and sometimes will have a mindless conversation, but he is not fully registering any of if his concentration is focused elsewhere. I'm the same way. The kids will say, "but I asked/told you", and I'll have no memory because there were other thoughts taking priority. My husband will call mine or my son's name, over and over, until we are 'awakened' to all of the sounds and sights that we mentally block out while hyper-focused.

My son and I have to be in this state to achieve a lot of tasks, otherwise, its really hard to get anything done. I can't have kids in the kitchen under foot or talking to me while I cook or I'll burn or cut myself. I cannot read and understand something unless I draw my focus there and tune other things out. The same goes for math. Stress makes it impossible to think, causing a lot of frustration in getting something done.

What helped was the hardest thing to do - practice mindfulness. My son doesn't think its possible and ten yrs ago, I would have agreed, but the trick to this thing is to focus on the moment and filter thing manually. Being aware but not attentive to the non-relevant things.

I hope that helped. Its actually really hard to describe because I've been this way all my life so, I'm having to infer the differences between you and I.

-- Fri Jan 08, 2016 4:59 pm --

corgis wrote:Hey, Stony! Welcome to the BPD forums. I hope we're able to provide any support and understanding you may solicit. Don't forget to read the forum guidelines before further posting.

That being said, pleased to meet you. It's nice to have new people in the community.

Happy posting!

I read it again. Did I do something that I shouldn't have?

No, you didn't do anything out of line; it's just always worth mentioning as some people forget to read the rules, all is good, Stony! :~) sorry for any confusion.

corgis wrote:No, you didn't do anything out of line; it's just always worth mentioning as some people forget to read the rules, all is good, Stony! :~) sorry for any confusion.

Oh, okay; good. I get carried away and do things without knowing sometimes (say too much, sound offense without meaning too). Always good to check myself Thanks for the welcome BTW

Stony wrote:
Oh, okay; good. I get carried away and do things without knowing sometimes (say too much, sound offense without meaning too). Always good to check myself Thanks for the welcome BTW

Me too, actually, haha.
you're more than welcome, glad to have you join us!