Obsessing over a coworker

I like to chase people I can't have. If the person ever returns my affection I almost immediately begin to devalue them. It's a sick game I play because I have low self esteem.

Although I understand that I play this game I can't help it. My latest desire is my coworker. She's not interested in me and that makes me want her and all I do is think about it. Sometimes I'm rude toward her b/c she doesn't want me. I can't keep doing this crazy $#%^. It's like I'm addicted. Chasing people who don't want me is my herion. Has anyone been here?

In my personal experience... No, I have never been there.

Please be careful and take care of yourself, heal yourself, because the game you are playing with your coworker might get serious and you might get in trouble.
If you are following her, obsessing about her, and if she finds out and is scared, she could take measures against you. That would turn against you and could hurt you deeply.

It's not easy controlling thoughts or emotions, so you might need a guide. Are you in counseling?

A wise woman once said to me that in every relationship one of the two involved is 'the magic'.

If you are obsessed with a coworker (or indeed anyone) then she is the magic and it will not end well for you.

Make yourself the magic and let someone else do the chasing. Trust me, it works.

keep your mind busy with other things. video games helped me. read a book.
the coworker has a right to say 'no'
once i set a flirtatious email to a coworker. when her teamleader reprimanded me, i was furious and made plans to go on a date with the coworker, seduce her right before the teamleader.

now i realize how unhealthy those thoughts were.

even i had low self esteem. i would crave for others approval and appreciation.
but its better to have a low self esteem than annoy someone.

Journeyman15 wrote:A wise woman once said to me that in every relationship one of the two involved is 'the magic'.

If you are obsessed with a coworker (or indeed anyone) then she is the magic and it will not end well for you.

Make yourself the magic and let someone else do the chasing. Trust me, it works.

This reminded me of something a friend once said to her ex trying to win her back... "Honey I don't need a diamond, I AM a diamond". The goal is not for someone to give me their love - the goal is for someone to pull my love towards them out.

I've been in your position. Many many times. Hell lately I've been thinking about one of my neighbors, all we've ever said to each other is "hi how's it goin". But I don't pursue these people anymore, me chasing anyone seems to be a bad idea. I'm just waiting for the right person to stumble into my path and pursue me, cause I've decided I'm worth it