Screw you SSRIs - I'm out!

Hi all

I've decided this morning to come off Zoloft after just 3 weeks and am waiting for a call from my GP to tell me how to taper off - not sure if this is the best before Xmas but after last night's experience, that was the final nail in the coffin.

I had sex with my partner of 5 years last night and this was the first time since the day I started taking them, and it was just awful. I'd not been feeling in the mood since being on them but I thought that it might be ok once I got going - how wrong I was. Having a good sex life has been one of the few things in life I enjoy and have always been very attracted to my partner. However, I've noticed I've been getting quite irritable with him since starting the Zoloft and even shying away from kissing which is something I never do - it's usually me always craving intimacy.

Last night actually felt like I was being violated - aside from not really even feeling any physical pleasure from the whole experience, it's like I couldn't bear him touching me - he felt like a total stranger. I didn't say anything though as thought I'd at least let him enjoy himself but afterwards, I just broke down in tears and had a horrible anxiety attack, partly because it didn't feel like him, but also the shock at the effects the Zoloft were having.

I know some people have a lot of success with SSRIs but with the sexual dysfunction, I can't understand how they could be helpful to someone with BPD who has formed a strong attachment to their partner. All this is making me do is now freak out that he won't be getting his sexual fulfillment so this is triggering abandonment fears. Feeling vey anxious this morning and pretty depressed about it all.

It's frustrating as my psych referral isn't until February and I had really wanted to stay on them until then so I could essentially say "There. I tried them - now will you please give me XYZ" and now I'm worried they'll think I'm not taking treatment seriously.

Anyway, that's it - I just felt the need to vent that! Thanks for listening

updown_14 wrote:Hi all

I've decided this morning to come off Zoloft after just 3 weeks and am waiting for a call from my GP to tell me how to taper off - not sure if this is the best before Xmas but after last night's experience, that was the final nail in the coffin.

I had sex with my partner of 5 years last night and this was the first time since the day I started taking them, and it was just awful. I'd not been feeling in the mood since being on them but I thought that it might be ok once I got going - how wrong I was. Having a good sex life has been one of the few things in life I enjoy and have always been very attracted to my partner. However, I've noticed I've been getting quite irritable with him since starting the Zoloft and even shying away from kissing which is something I never do - it's usually me always craving intimacy.

Last night actually felt like I was being violated - aside from not really even feeling any physical pleasure from the whole experience, it's like I couldn't bear him touching me - he felt like a total stranger. I didn't say anything though as thought I'd at least let him enjoy himself but afterwards, I just broke down in tears and had a horrible anxiety attack, partly because it didn't feel like him, but also the shock at the effects the Zoloft were having.

I know some people have a lot of success with SSRIs but with the sexual dysfunction, I can't understand how they could be helpful to someone with BPD who has formed a strong attachment to their partner. All this is making me do is now freak out that he won't be getting his sexual fulfillment so this is triggering abandonment fears. Feeling vey anxious this morning and pretty depressed about it all.

It's frustrating as my psych referral isn't until February and I had really wanted to stay on them until then so I could essentially say "There. I tried them - now will you please give me XYZ" and now I'm worried they'll think I'm not taking treatment seriously.

Anyway, that's it - I just felt the need to vent that! Thanks for listening

Hi updown

I think it's completely legitimate to discontinue taking a medication if the side effects are very troublesome.

Personally, I refuse to take SSRIs these days for precisely the reasons you cite. Loss of libido and failure to climax are a huge deal for me. Taking your doctor's advice regarding tapering is very wise indeed.

Good luck getting back to yourself real soon.

Thank you. I thought to myself, I can maybe handle not being able to orgasm, but to feel repulsed at my own partner? That's just a no goer for me. It's annoying that GPs won't prescribe Wellbutrin/Zyban over here in the UK for depression as I believe that's one that doesn't affect libido, or at least not as much.

updown_14 wrote:Thank you. I thought to myself, I can maybe handle not being able to orgasm, but to feel repulsed at my own partner? That's just a no goer for me. It's annoying that GPs won't prescribe Wellbutrin/Zyban over here in the UK for depression as I believe that's one that doesn't affect libido, or at least not as much.

I too live in the UK. It's a cruel twist of fate that antidepressants cause a lot of unwanted effects that can actually exacerbate low mood. Sexual dysfunction, weight-gain, insomnia... These are just a handful of the veritable joys of pharmaceutical treatment of mood disorders. Doesn't seem fair somehow, does it?

Yeah, Journeyman, it sucks! A different GP just called so ranted on non-stop for about 5 minutes and I did mention Zyban, to which he responded "Absolutely not!" Surprisingly though, he did say to come back if I wanted any more valium, which my original GP was very hesitate to prescribe me to begin with. He didn't seem that bothered about how I came off the Zoloft so just told him I was going to half the dosage for a week and then off.

Zoloft is one of the few antidepressant medications I haven't tried.

Abrupt discontinuation can be uncomfortable but it's not horrendous in my experience, OTHER THAN when I came off Doloxetine. That was rough. I'm sure after 3 weeks halving for 1 and then discontinuing will be painless enough.

Again, good luck updown.

Are you on any medication now?

Thanks At least I might be able to enjoy a few drinks at Christmas. I drank last weekend and ended up ridiculously hyper - I got home, put some drum and bass on full blast and then danced like crazy on my own in the lounge for about an hour while my boyfriend sat and played online poker looking at me rather strangely! That was probably the best part of the 3 week experience

updown_14 wrote:Are you on any medication now?

Thanks At least I might be able to enjoy a few drinks at Christmas. I drank last weekend and ended up ridiculously hyper - I got home, put some drum and bass on full blast and then danced like crazy on my own in the lounge for about an hour while my boyfriend sat and played online poker looking at me rather strangely! That was probably the best part of the 3 week experience

I have been unmedicated for nearly a year. I feel EVERYTHING. And I wouldn't exchange that for any of antidepressants' numbing effects.

That's great to hear and pleased you've got yourself to that place without all the crappy side effects. I don't mind the moods so much - it's more the abandonment and identity problems that really get to me. If I could sort that out, I'd be a lot happier as I'm not fussed about being "normal"... not that there really is such a thing!

Hi updown_14. I can totally sympathise with your SSRI libido issue! I had exactly the same thing, just no desire or arousal and that feeling of being violated. I stopped taking them for that same reason. I don't see why they can't prescribe zyban for depression in the UK. It's probably a cost issue.