Are you honest with your therapist?

I was very honest with mine about my past, but I hid a lot of stuff from her about the present.

I knew she wouldn't approve and thought she would nag me too much to change or give stuff up that I wasn't ready to give up. in hindsight I realize I wasn't doing myself any favors at all.

is it easy for you to be honest with your therapist or do you hide stuff, too?

I always hide things and I feel like I won't even get much from talk therapy or whatever because I won't say much. It's kinda easy for me though because I think I automatically dissociate from a lot of my memories so I can't even recall them in the moment. I don't want to be judged because I feel like I'm strange and horrible. Plus, telling them everything would take so much effort to explain. If they ask me something, I answer just enough to seem dysfunctional.

justagirl00 wrote:I was very honest with mine about my past, but I hid a lot of stuff from her about the present.

I knew she wouldn't approve and thought she would nag me too much to change or give stuff up that I wasn't ready to give up. in hindsight I realize I wasn't doing myself any favors at all.

is it easy for you to be honest with your therapist or do you hide stuff, too?

Hi justagirl00

I like your post because I feel that it taps into a wider issue.

Although I completely accept that my BPD is my responsibility to manage, I also recognise that it is NOT MY FAULT.

I'm always totally honest with my therapist (and anyone else who takes an interest) because I'm not ashamed of who I am. Admittedly, ex-girlfriends have, at times, used my diagnosis as a stick to beat me with, but that has only served to inform me that they weren't the one for me.

It is, of course, each individual's prerogative to reveal or hide whatever they wish. I myself am open and unapologetic about being a neurotic borderline!

No.

I dont think i'd ever be completely honest with mine. I guess i'm too inclined to project a super positive image of myself so would hide stuff that show me in a bad light.

I saw a therapist for several months last winter/spring, and I think I was on the opposite side of the spectrum, being too honest...or at least revealing every last bit of information about everything and anything I thought was relevant to my issues. The hour would fly by, and week after week it just seemed that we weren't advancing quickly enough. I had to turn to reading books to self-educate. I stopped seeing her because she wasn't telling me anything I wasn't already figuring out on my own. I will say, however, that being honest with my therapist was very easy because she was never judgmental about anything I told her.

Nowadays my main concern is how honest I feel I want to be with new friends, judging when it's appropriate to share information about myself.

ofc not i don't want to go to jail

These days? Yes. Screw it as I need the help.

I don't have a therapist right now. I tend to go through a lot. I am distrustful in general, and with therapists I tend to pick them apart, test how easily they can be manipulated, and find disqualifiers. I do this with everyone, but for a therapist at a higher level. After all you hand over trust, and submit yourself. You allow yourself to be manipulated for "your own good". I did find a therapist a few years ago that passed my test. She was unreactive, unemotional, and used to work downtown in a big city. She was seasoned, and told me from the beginning that she's seen just about everything in a client. I could tell her about the time how I decapitated a kitten, and she'd just listen and ask me relevant questions to help me understand my motivations. She didn't sit and silently judge. She gave me the benefit of the doubt, so I could reveal myself without worry that she'd turn me in to the police.

She was 1 out of 12. The rest of therapists, throw aways. I used them short term, and only revealed information that I felt they could contribute on.

I'm lucky enough to have a relatively non-judgmental and supportive therapist, so most of the time, yes.

However, I definitely omit things sometimes - especially when I have a more important issue to discuss, and the thing I'm omitting is something we've already gone over. Usually, it's me slipping up and making a mistake with something we've already talked about - texting my ex, engaging in a toxic argument - things I already know I should be working on, that we've been over a million times and have very little more to say about. I avoid mentioning it because I'd rather spend the hour I paid for talking about something more fruitful.

I do think it's very important to find someone that exudes non-judgment, though, to encourage you to speak your truth.

graveflower wrote:I could tell her about the time how I decapitated a kitten

JFC. You decapitated a little kitten?

That's more antisocial personality disorder than borderline.