Overwhelmed = I Want to Die

Any time I feel really overwhelmed, I become very anxious and I think about killing myself. What the hell is this about? Is this common with BPD? Like, I literally want to run the streets screaming and pulling my hair out when I'm faced with making a big decision. Or I have the urge to grab a razor and cut my hip up to relieve some of the stress and anxiety I'm feeling, as well as punish myself for not being able to cope with feeling overwhelmed. Ugh. Why am I so messed up?

I'm not sure if I should go back to college. I already have an M.A. in School Counseling. I'm being pushed into nursing by my in-laws since I haven't been able to land a job in my field for five years. Whenever I try to begin the admissions process online, I feel overwhelmed and I think about killing myself. What am I supposed to do?

-- Mon Oct 26, 2015 2:28 pm --

Oh! Since I become so overwhelmed and distressed, my soon-to-be hubby has offered to fill everything out for me, which makes me feel even more pathetic.

I feel the same way when I am overwhelmed. I become paralyzed. My family has helped a lot over the last year by making phone calls for me and handling my mail. It makes me feel like there's no point in living because I can't take care of simple tasks. I've been suicidal before due to getting overwhelmed at work and not wanting to face humiliation from my boss. Often I've totally blown things out of proportion but at the time I just feel like a failure.

Do you want to be a nurse or no? If the anxiety is because you're being pushed into doing something you don't want to do, maybe you should take that as a sign and explore other options.

Good to know I'm not alone, Leili. Yes, I become completely paralyzed as well. I know what I need to do, but I just freeze like a deer caught in the headlights. My family has helped with a lot, too.

Going to school to become a nurse is better than working dead end jobs. I think the whole application process is just daunting. Filling out all the freaking admission forms, having official transcripts sent over, registering for classes, etc.

I always thought my ADHD was what caused me to become so overwhelmed and was the reason I required so much hand-holding. Could be the BPD, I guess.

Excuses wrote:Any time I feel really overwhelmed, I become very anxious and I think about killing myself Or I have the urge to grab a razor and cut my hip up to relieve some of the stress and anxiety I'm feeling

Excuses wrote:Going to school to become a nurse

Frankly speaking I think this is an awful idea.

Maybe a better idea to keep at it until you find a counseling job.

keeponriding wrote:

Excuses wrote:Any time I feel really overwhelmed, I become very anxious and I think about killing myself Or I have the urge to grab a razor and cut my hip up to relieve some of the stress and anxiety I'm feeling

Excuses wrote:Going to school to become a nurse

Frankly speaking I think this is an awful idea.

Maybe a better idea to keep at it until you find a counseling job.

Why do you think going to school to become a nurse is an awful idea?

Excuses wrote:

keeponriding wrote:

Excuses wrote:Any time I feel really overwhelmed, I become very anxious and I think about killing myself Or I have the urge to grab a razor and cut my hip up to relieve some of the stress and anxiety I'm feeling

Excuses wrote:Going to school to become a nurse

Frankly speaking I think this is an awful idea.

Maybe a better idea to keep at it until you find a counseling job.

Why do you think going to school to become a nurse is an awful idea?

Because being a nurse are among the most stressful and overwhelming jobs there is.
If you think of killing yourself just when starting out with the admissions process cause that feels overwhelming, how do you think you would manage the job?

Also although I'm sure there are many nurses (and doctors for that matter) suffering with disorders, a nurse with suicidal ideation is not a very pleasant thought. I do think that mental stability is a definitive + when caring for other people.

Excuses wrote:Any time I feel really overwhelmed, I become very anxious and I think about killing myself. Or I have the urge to grab a razor and cut my hip up to relieve some of the stress and anxiety I'm feeling.

I'm going to school to become a nurse.

keeponriding wrote:Frankly speaking I think this is an awful idea.

Maybe a better idea to keep at it until you find a counseling job.

Excuses wrote:Why do you think going to school to become a nurse is an awful idea?

keeponriding wrote:Because being a nurse are among the most stressful and overwhelming jobs there is. If you think of killing yourself just when starting out with the admissions process cause that feels overwhelming, how do you think you would manage the job?

Also although I'm sure there are many nurses (and doctors for that matter) suffering with disorders, a nurse with suicidal ideation is not a very pleasant thought. I do think that mental stability is a definitive + when caring for other people.

Well, I completed the admissions process this afternoon. I'm looking forward to being your suicidal, mentally unstable nurse in the near future!

Congrats and good luck!

i called the sueside hotline
but it's prevention only
so i can't help you

I was only doing to suicidal ideation thing today. I snapped out of it after 15 minutes. Don't ask me where it came from. I just felt very listless for a while. I'm beginning to think that it's actually down to brain chemistry.