(Mis)Diagnosed with BPD. Need Opinions!

Animosity wrote:You should read the previous post I made before deciding on anything.

Ok, I think I understand your previous post, though I don't agree with all your matchups.

I mean, saying, "Anyone? " isn't a frantic effort to avoid real or imagined abandonment. I needed someone with BPD to answer my post so I could find out if I have BPD. I was more of bumping my post to the top in hopes someone would see and respond.

You know, I just noticed (some) people on this forum aren't being very nice to one another. What's up with that? Is that part of BPD?

-- Tue Oct 20, 2015 10:21 am --

VivianAlexis wrote:Yes, good wording, *almost threw me over the edge, those damn emoticons. I am really happy for u.

Aww, shucks!! Well, thanks, Vivian!!

Animosity wrote:You should read the previous post I made before deciding on anything.

Ok, I think I understand your previous post, though I don't agree with all your matchups.

I mean, saying, "Anyone? " isn't a frantic effort to avoid real or imagined abandonment. I needed someone with BPD to answer my post so I could find out if I have BPD. I was more of bumping my post to the top in hopes someone would see and respond.

You know, I just noticed (some) people on this forum aren't being very nice to one another. What's up with that? Is that part of BPD?

It is a part of group therapy.

The greenish have little affect, serene greenie meenies.

What's part of group therapy?

First time ever at this kind of thing. (forums) Picked up on this thread by noticing some strong reactions and harsh words to other posts. I've reading a lot about BPD lately. Really interested by the dynamic approach regarding mental health - the autism spectrum - apergers. All that matters probably is to try naming your pain and doing something about it. I won't take any chemical fixes - really into mindfulness and CBT, which has led to interest in Buddhism. Of course, you have to have time for this kind of stuff - I have and it's helping me survive. I experienced a complete descent to rock bottom, (loss of everything) 20 months ago. I'm surprised at how powerful the CBT, mindfulnes and meditation has been for me. I'm more balanced (and content) than I've been for many years. Maybe your BPD is a symptom? By that I mean it might be possible to customise your own diagnosis. I found 'Mindfulness for Dummies' very helpful.

Excuses wrote:
Ok, I think I understand your previous post, though I don't agree with all your matchups.

I mean, saying, "Anyone? " isn't a frantic effort to avoid real or imagined abandonment. I needed someone with BPD to answer my post so I could find out if I have BPD. I was more of bumping my post to the top in hopes someone would see and respond.

It does count, unstable self-image will make it hard for you to see things like that. That's what (3) is about.

VivianAlexis wrote:I was really happy for her, but all the ! and happy jeering emoticons were making me irritable and highly annoyed in afterthought, so was initial happiness fake, the tense irritation real. Why such distrust with overjoy and happiness? Is her happiness fake...too much.

Fake? Do you really have the nerve to invalidate her?

Animosity wrote:

Excuses wrote:
Ok, I think I understand your previous post, though I don't agree with all your matchups.

I mean, saying, "Anyone? " isn't a frantic effort to avoid real or imagined abandonment. I needed someone with BPD to answer my post so I could find out if I have BPD. I was more of bumping my post to the top in hopes someone would see and respond.

It does count, unstable self-image will make it hard for you to see things like that. That's what (3) is about.

There is no offense meant here, Excuses, but I agree with this. I see this pretty frequently on BPD forums where someone will start a thread and after some period of no responses ask again or get upset. The effort might not be "frantic" but there is some discomfort in the poster to cause them to do that. I just saw another one on here where a poster said "30 views and no replies? " It kind of ties in to a lack of empathy, not taking into consideration that registered users might not be online, might not have feedback, or just might not be interested in the post. The focus is on the needs of the self rather than the mundane realities of interacting with people.

I know you said it was a bump but there's really no need to bump a post in under 3 hours. I'm not trying to criticize you—hopefully you just take it as an opportunity for self-awareness.

Leili wrote:I see this pretty frequently on BPD forums where someone will start a thread and after some period of no responses ask again or get upset. The effort might not be "frantic" but there is some discomfort in the poster to cause them to do that. I just saw another one on here where a poster said "30 views and no replies? " It kind of ties in to a lack of empathy, not taking into consideration that registered users might not be online, might not have feedback, or just might not be interested in the post.

That's a fear of abandonment, not a lack of empathy.

Animosity wrote:

Leili wrote:I see this pretty frequently on BPD forums where someone will start a thread and after some period of no responses ask again or get upset. The effort might not be "frantic" but there is some discomfort in the poster to cause them to do that. I just saw another one on here where a poster said "30 views and no replies? " It kind of ties in to a lack of empathy, not taking into consideration that registered users might not be online, might not have feedback, or just might not be interested in the post.

That's a fear of abandonment, not a lack of empathy.

It's definitely fear of abandonment (or rejection). I guess I was using the term "empathy" loosely, since empathy is the ability to feel what someone else is feeling. I meant that the fear of abandonment is tied to an inability to put oneself in another's shoes at that moment. The thought is about why no one has answered the OP yet. A norm would probably have more perspective on what people out there in the world might have going on in the moment and wait it out while a pwBPD jumps to, "Am I being rejected?"

I don't know if I'm making sense. It's 4 am.

Animosity wrote:

Excuses wrote:
Ok, I think I understand your previous post, though I don't agree with all your matchups.

I mean, saying, "Anyone? " isn't a frantic effort to avoid real or imagined abandonment. I needed someone with BPD to answer my post so I could find out if I have BPD. I was more of bumping my post to the top in hopes someone would see and respond.

It does count, unstable self-image will make it hard for you to see things like that. That's what (3) is about.

Ok, I agree with that... Having an unstable self-image would interfere with my ability to identify what BPD traits I have without needing others to tell me.