Can i MAKE myself paint him black?

So I fell in love with this guy. Basically I thought he hung the moon. We dated over a yeae and now I finally forced myself to end it for good (in a messy frustrating way).

The thing is I still care about him deeply and I still keep checking my phone to see if he texted. I want it to stop.

One fringe benefit of being borderline is that usually when things go sour with someone I'm able to destroy my emotions and feelings for them and look at them negatively.

How can I MAKE myself do this with him? I wanna stop romanticizing him and paint him black and stop caring completely so I can find someone new instead if looking for someone "like him" and having nobody measure up.

I've done this before, kind of. There was a girl I liked and she turned me down (I still think she's in denial but w/e) so for a while I just tried to notice all of her worst qualities. Like how she always sucks up to authority, or how she's unempathetic, etc. Fortunately she also started acting rude to me around the same time so it was easy to paint her black. I got to the point where her bad outweighed her good and so all I could think was "thanks for making this so easy for me."

One thing is to behave so dramatically and reckless with your life and welfare that they have no choice but to reject you permanently.

In this case, I wonder if there is another way to deal with your emotions that is more healthy than purposely splitting. Nah, just kidding.