INTJ / Narc / cNarc /

I'm deciding to write this because I've been trying to understand myself as much as possible, and if it helps anyone else, then great. If it starts even a small discussion, all the better. These are just as much questions as they are statements...because I really don't know.

Firstly, what I know about myself as an INTJ:
- I need to understand everything...if it doesn't make sense, I lose my mind.
- I care, I love...but I fumble with normal human expressions of those simple emotions, like an idiot.
- I feel so much that I often shut down to a kind of cold, robotic state because I don't know what to do with so much emotion in a public situation, especially as a man.
- I find solace in the things I know very well, and my self-confidence is absolute in these areas.

Narc / cNarc:
- Yes, I'm self-absorbed because I'm always trying to figure myself out, and I haven't had a clear identity in a very, very long time. I feel perpetually feel lost...and it's always on my mind.
- No, I don't think I'm above anyone else, but I do often think that laws or rules are completely stupid, and as such I will not be confined to them....oh, and ###$ you for telling me what I need to do.
- No, I don't use people for any kind of gain, in fact, I'm ashamed of any such behavior. I don't believe that paintings should be sold for money, that anyone should profit form being a photo journalist, and I'm still trying to find a way to make an income in a way that doesn't disgust me.
- Yes, sometimes I do feel abnormal pleasure in control, either at work or during sex. It doesn't happen as a norm, but it does happen...and I've noticed that the more other areas of my life are in disarray, the more control I wish for in these areas. When I have no issues in the rest of my life, I don't even think about control in other areas of my life. It is what it is.

At any rate, I just wanted to put this out there for the hell of it, just because these are the kinds of things on my mind lately.

*mod edit*

I never, ever again, want to return, to read what retards like you write on a regular basis. Never. I'm done. Completely done. That's how stupid you are.

*mod edit*

Rigning, that's too bad. Behind all of the animated gifs and snarky remarks there has always been an actual person there in the commentary, sometimes comical, sometimes truthful. I don't know what your deal is, but I have always appreciated your input...including this one. For myself, I hope you're not banned (*mod edit*). But more importantly because sometimes you're thoughtful and funny and not just angry.

At any rate, I still like you quite a lot.

Take care of yourself, ring.

Danieleaf wrote:Rigning, that's too bad. Behind all of the animated gifs and snarky remarks there has always been an actual person there in the commentary, sometimes comical, sometimes truthful. I don't know what your deal is, but I have always appreciated your input...including this one. For myself, I hope you're not banned (*mod edit*). But more importantly because sometimes you're thoughtful and funny and not just angry.

At any rate, I still like you quite a lot.

Take care of yourself, ring.

Respect. Handled that a lot better than I would have.

Self destructive rampages are something I am prone to as well.

I guess that although I have no real problem offending others I can't take the same offence; I take it too personally. So I generally try to take myself down in flames when I get to that state. I can handle my own self loathing because it is a familiar thing but the loathing of others always leaves a scar.

INTJs are often narcissistic, but can also have a healthy perspective. They can be incessantly egocentric or the absolute best representatives of human kindness. And there is a lot of middle ground.

With this in mind, NPD is expected to occur in about 1% of the population, and INTJs make up about 3%. This is not to say that 1/3 INTJs is a narcissist necessarily, but it's probably not a terrible estimate either. Some MBTI enthusiasts argue that it is INFJs who are the narcissists.

There may be no overlap whatsoever, that is also a possibility.

Well, all I know is that I had a really bad day, came home drunk on a Friday night, and spouted some sh*t into the internet, because there's no one else I can bounce this stuff onto. Like a lot of folks here, I'm trying to lock down my own identity because honestly most of the time I don't even know. I really don't.

I know that I honestly care, and I try to express that care as often as possible. But sometimes you have a day that throws all you think you know into a tailspin and you question everything, trying to make sense of anything at all.

Danieleaf wrote:Well, all I know is that I had a really bad day, came home drunk on a Friday night, and spouted some sh*t into the internet, because there's no one else I can bounce this stuff onto. Like a lot of folks here, I'm trying to lock down my own identity because honestly most of the time I don't even know. I really don't.

I know that I honestly care, and I try to express that care as often as possible. But sometimes you have a day that throws all you think you know into a tailspin and you question everything, trying to make sense of anything at all.

It's okay. I didn't really think it was a dumb idea and when I saw the thread title I was looking forward to seeing what it contained. There is a lot of overlap between borderline and narcissistic personalities, in fact, users (such as Rigning) can even be quoted as suggesting that any Borderline "with a job" is high-functioning and thus probably also NPD. So it's relevant in this forum, and furthermore, although the MBTI is a tool that's mostly intended for normal populations, it was (loosely) based on Psychological Types which most definitely portrays mental illness as a function of typology. So it's relevant on that front, too (to look for connections).

As for the response you got -

Rigning kind of snapped, without due reason in my opinion. But if you practice acceptance, which you obviously do, then it's no big deal. I'm working on acceptance as well. I guess I was already sensitized partly due to his post in the "how do you feel this moment" thread.

So I spent almost an hour this morning reading through his last 150 posts or so, in order.
[I also read his blog].
That really helped with perspective. I honestly don't care two shits what that individual has to say at all, anymore, about anything! So call that acceptance, too!

joltaire wrote:As for the response you got -

Rigning kind of snapped, without due reason in my opinion. But if you practice acceptance, which you obviously do, then it's no big deal. I'm working on acceptance as well. I guess I was already sensitized partly due to his post in the "how do you feel this moment" thread.

So I spent almost an hour this morning reading through his last 150 posts or so, in order.
[I also read his blog].
That really helped with perspective. I honestly don't care two shits what that individual has to say at all, anymore, about anything! So call that acceptance, too!

Oh, Ringing's response didn't bother me in the slightest. I appreciated the porn actually, thought it was funny...and I'm quite familiar with snapping on someone or something just because you're fed up with whatever and such and such just happens across your path at that moment, then BLAM. Hell, that's how I would describe my day yesterday.

I simply felt the need to vent in some way, and writing about what I think I'm trying to figure out about myself was the way I chose to do it. Ringing decide to react with a "f*ck you", and that's fine. Didn't bother me at all.

I could relate to everything you wrote in your post. I don't understand why 'ringing' got upset... but then again maybe I'm not in the best of moods today either.

Danieleaf -
I have no comment on the flames because they were mod edited.

As far your OP:
IMO diagnosis/ labels aren't as important as people make them out to be. I think 90% of the time people with emotional problems need to focus on a few key principles, e.g. being mindful, self-aware, expressing what you feel, etc.

What you have listed here is not indicative of any PD. You listed 4 bullet points, and the first 3 only apply to the overt version of narcissism. There is no firmly agreed upon set of diagnostic criteria for cNPD, but for example seeking attention from an entire room is very uncommon. Your very response to Ringing in this thread shows that you are likely not overt. That said you can read up on the NPD forums to see if you can identify with what anyone there has posted. It may be useful to you, even if you are not technically NPD.