Is okay to be...proud?

So, I saw my first female pdoc today, after going back to the office where the first pdoc I saw made me cry. Long story, originally posted under my first username 'Surrealism'. Hello again to those who remember me

Anyway, I had gone to see her after having some issues focusing with classes. I wanted to ask about medication that could help me, and the topic of my mood came up. I've already been Dx'd BP 2, but I knew it was comorbid with BPD...moods don't shift that rapidly. I can understand how BP 2/BPD could go hand in hand...with a trigger setting off a depressive episode that lasts long enough to qualify as manic depression. Plus 70% of BP patients have comorbid BPD.

It had never been official that I had BPD, but having a 4 year degree in psychology and a good sense of self...I knew. I'm only 20 years old, which deterred a few pdocs and made them think I was a bit arrogant. But I know my disorders and I know symptoms. I adore psychology and want to go into the field of psychology or psychiatry.

So this little conversation came up. "So, how have your moods been?" "Relatively stable, I know what can trigger them." "How long do your bouts last?" "At the shortest...a few hours." "Well, that's not really BP, that's more of a personality disorder." "Borderline?" "Yes."

I have dissociation episodes. I have panic attacks. My mood can flip like a switch and it has triggers. I've self-harmed, have inappropriate anger, have alternating self-image, my goals change and are 'wobbly', and I get that boredom and I wear my feelings on my sleeve...but I've never attempted suicide, had relationship instability, and I'm not impulsive.

I don't like the term 'borderline' though, so I'm going to use the the British version of 'emotionally unstable personality disorder' (EUPD), just like I prefer manic depression...but that's just me

So, I'm kinda proud that I knew, and the diagnosis is 'official' now...I don't know if it's okay to feel proud though. Am I allowed to be proud or happy about knowing...is it ok? Normal?

And she prescribed me Wellbutrin (150mg) to go alongside my Lamictal (also 150mg)...any reviews?

not really. though i was proud of my eccentric behavior n 'acting like a child' behavior. i wish i had taken my mental illness seriously.

i dont think its something to be proud of or ashamed of. its like if ur leg hurts u go see a doctor, so if the mind harbors unhealthy thoughts then a doctor is there to help you.

though bpd has positive aspects i think its good to seek help for it.

Ouch That kind of damaged my ego...I harbor nothing against you though, I wanted honesty and I received some, so thank you for your honesty

I guess I'm more proud of being right...like one of those things of I told you so! You didn't believe me, but I told you so! Rather than actually having a label that says my personality, my essence and specific behaviors, is disordered. I am who I am, regardless of what medical charts and professionals say.

I'm proud in the same way I was when I was diagnosed as bipolar. It was one of those moments that made me realize that now that I know what the problem is, I can fix it and deal with it properly.

Any reviews for Wellbutrin though??

i think its okay to be proud as long as ur not laughing on their face

my caretaker wud do this a lot n now shes all by herself. i'm not saying, u'd end up like that.
but behavior soon becomes habit---then character---then destiny

everyone reacts to the best of their knowledge. its like if ur taught abcdeflmno, you'd say likewise

its not easy to change behavior. people dont make mistakes out of choice.

if the person who makes the mistake to which you say: i told u so, if that person is a friend, then its all in good humor, but if the other person is an acquaintance then perhaps be indifferent.

I found Wellbutrin made me paranoid. And I'm not prone to paranoid thought. It was not good for me.

But every body's chemistry is different, and what doesn't work for one, works well for another.

My mama takes Wellbutrin because of MDD, and she says it works wonders for her. When I told the pdoc this, she said it was a good marker of it working well in me. She also told me that it might bring out a psychotic mania if there's a family history of schizophreniform disorders, and I don't know a lot of the mental history on my father's side. Guess I'm going to find out...she prescribed it because it did have stimulative properties and she wouldn't prescribe a stimulate for my focusing problems with school since I hadn't been diagnosed with ADHD/ADD and I was over 18. She said it probably would make me a bit aggravated, but it paired well with the lamotrigine. Same dosage for each, 150mg.

And jaus tail, I got what ya sayin' I'm not laughin' in their faces, it was just on of those smug moments where the few people that said I wasn't got told, "SEE!?"