Recently diagnosed with BPD and scared.

Hi everyone,
I have been recently diagnosed with BPD. After reading more about it, it sounds just like me. I am in my 30's and have been struggling with the symptoms for as long as I remember. Right now, controlling my impulses, a poor self image and suicidal thoughts are my biggest struggle. Those feelings have all but completely ruined my relationship. I don't trust my own judgement anymore. Can any of you share how you handle some of these feelings? Does it ever become easier to control? I am scaring myself lately.

Hi Dani00, firstly welcome to the group. Secondly, having myself gone through a ruined relationship, followed almost immediately by a diagnosis, I can probably guess how you must feel right now, and it's really goddamn hard, I know. Most of us here have gone through things exactly the way you are going through them now, so there are plenty of people here who will get what you're going through.

When I was at your stage I was struggling with severe panic attacks, guilt, self hatred, suicidal thoughts, and it goes without saying major, major depression. The good news is that is does indeed get better. Trust me on this, it gets better.

The first thing to do (if you haven't already) is to start seeing a therapist right away, if you can afford one. If not, find out if at the very least you can see a social worker on a sliding scale scenario. It's really important that you have someone to start talking to, and even looking forward to your next session can be a real life saver. What I also did at that stage was take a course in Mindfulness mediation and started exercising everyday. I had to develop a routine to keep my mind busy and stop it from racing on a series of negative and painful thoughts.

Talking to a therapist will give you some insight into the next steps you'd like to take, whether or not you'd also like to talk to a psychiatrist for example or if you'd like to pursue other non-medication avenues. At any rate, it's a lot to take in all at once, so just start slow and focus on the basics of taking care of yourself and getting through each day.

This is a great place to come to for support and information, so feel free to vent or ask questions anytime you feel like you need to. We've all relied on it in the same way.

Take care of yourself.