Are BPD people overly partner-oriented?

iCandi wrote:Being able to be fine with being alone is over-rated and doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Yes, it's unplausible to me, and I think it's just a common excuse. In the last weeks of my relationship with my ex, she kept refusing to talk, saying that she needs alone time and she doesn't want to talk to anyone on earth. But after stalking her a little, I figured that she's just obsessed and trying to regather with her ex, and also, she talks to many of her friends.

-- Tue Jul 21, 2015 9:33 pm --

joltaire wrote:Partner oriented? Absolutely not.

Self-oriented where the partner is an accessory? Maybe.

I believe in psychological egoism, which means at the end, everything is about "me". Hence, everything other than self is just an accessory, and it applies to all humans in my worldview.

If you're a nice to people, it's either because you expect something in return, or you're doing it for your own peace, which is masturbation! Every way you look at it, you're doing it for yourself.

I can't generalise or speak for the majority but yes, I'm ultra partner-oriented. Sure, most people seek companionship and the like but for me it defines everything, and unfortunately being in a 'wrong' or unsuitable relationship tends to be more ideal than letting go and being all alone. In my mind I know what is right, but my actions can't quite follow.

Partner-oriented as in fear that my partner will only see me for my flaws, and leave me for it, yes. But I wouldn't confuse it with altruism, or anything malignant, which I think some people here are already trying to put into perspective.