explaining to others

I need help and or resource to explain to family what bpd is and how my loved ones can assist me instead af alienating my as a freak. Any non run-of-the-mill links will be so so much appreciated
Thank you so so so much!

i havent told my family of bpd, but i've told my friends. one fellow said: dont label yourself.

maybe you explain the triggers and tell you the issues that bother you.

it's like if a doctor tells family of an ailment, he tells of the precautions the family must take n doesnt really explain the mechanism of the illness.

so maybe you could tell them to be more sensitive, not try to persuade you to be more extrovert, or other precautions that you'd want them to be aware of.

I try to avoid telling anyone, because I know they are going to research it and most of the stuff out there is just horrible stereotypes.

If I feel I must tell someone something, I usually say I have trouble controlling my anger, and that I've very sensitive and get my feelings hurt easily, and can sometimes seem to get upset over little things and be moody. If they must know "why," I say I had a chaotic childhood.

I like justagirl's explanation. I normally just tell people I have depression and anxiety problems, which aren't untrue. You could also say C-PTSD. The vast majority of people don't know what that is at the top of their heads, but there is a lot of overlap with BPD to the point that some researchers believe they are the same thing.

I usually just say that I have mental health problems without being specific.

Hi there, well I sould have been more specific to start with. Thanks for the advice, as I usually blame PTSD and anxiety disorder for any uncomfortable situations too. The explaining I need to to to the so called others are my immediate family. Mom dad sister. My dad had his bout of depression, quite severe he had electroconvulsive therapy ect. Thing is is that since I was diagnosed about 8 years ago it was a case of "it doesn't exist" or its just depression. Ive made bad choices, one after another and currently am dependent on them. So I need to convince them firstly that bpd exists and hopefully then they'll be better able or willing to assist me in getting the right help. I cant go see a medical professional as im in south africa and when I did once go for help they threw me in a padded cage.. Twice actually with a bunch of schizophrenia and psychotic patients. Have nothing against them.. Its just when your bpd you dont really belong in such a place no offense meant. Hope my question is clearer now. I am trully at a loss on how to get through to them about bpd

I personally avoid telling people about my bpd diagnosis. I mainly talk to my boyfriend about it, and although he knows me extremely well and is a huge support system, he struggles to understand it no matter how much I attempt to explain. I have given up with trying to get my point across as, it seems the illness is so complex no one gets it. Heck, I don't understand my own head most of the time I doubt anyone else would get it either. I feel very alone, and always have. I have just learnt to accept that.

Osiris, I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head there. No matter how you try to explain they'll never really get it.. But thats one of the worst things.. Cause I mean deep down everyone wants to be understood and or accepted to some degree? Don't we? Tx for your comment

As far as my dx goes, my family knows I have depression and anxiety, nothing else. I have explained my issues more in terms of symptoms than as labels. For example, saying that my mood goes up and down a lot, which is usually questioned by people as "isn't that something like bipolar", at which point I'll just say "yeah, a bit like that" and leave it there. Or that I struggle with relationships and dealing with people, or about what I want for my future. Keeping it all fairly generic.

Can you be direct in saying things like "X would help me when I get into this type of situation", or "I find it upsetting when ..... and would prefer if you didn't say that". It's ok to say at any point that you don't want to talk about a particular issue with them too.

I tend to not talk about it much. Most people who know me, know I'm temperamental, so I just leave it at that. For the few who I do have to tell it to, I give them the Cole' Notes version; "it's like Bipolar on fast-forward." Only with other Borderlines, and my therapist, have I gone into any further detail.