Does anyone else do this (Text messaging related)?

When I text someone and I get a satisfying response I don't always respond back. It's like I got the sense they liked me and that alone-a simple "That's cool!" or something-will fill me with so much joy that I have a little party in my head. Makes me feel better. Its an overreaction I know. It makes me fee loved. But then I feel really guilty later that I didn't say anything back... So I give a lame reply.... sometimes... other times I just never respond.

Is anyone else like this???

I do not really like texting in general because I rely heavily on reading body language, tone, facial expression, etc. I have had a sort of phone phobia ever since I was a kid because it would freak me out to talk on the phone not being able to see the other person. So I rarely respond to texts unless someone is asking me a straightforward question like needing to know where a group is meeting at or something. Most of the people I know are used to it by now so I almost never get texts because I almost never reply to them. I do not feel quilt over it though because I am pretty upfront with most people so they know I will probably not respond to a text unless it is important info exchange stuff. If they do not believe me or take me seriously then that is their problem to deal with. For whatever it could possibly worth I do not see any reason for you to feel guilty in your example. If you say something and they say "that's cool" that sounds like a complete communication to me. You didn't do anything wrong by letting it end at that point.

TinyToad wrote:I do not really like texting in general because I rely heavily on reading body language, tone, facial expression, etc. I have had a sort of phone phobia ever since I was a kid because it would freak me out to talk on the phone not being able to see the other person. So I rarely respond to texts unless someone is asking me a straightforward question like needing to know where a group is meeting at or something. Most of the people I know are used to it by now so I almost never get texts because I almost never reply to them. I do not feel quilt over it though because I am pretty upfront with most people so they know I will probably not respond to a text unless it is important info exchange stuff. If they do not believe me or take me seriously then that is their problem to deal with. For whatever it could possibly worth I do not see any reason for you to feel guilty in your example. If you say something and they say "that's cool" that sounds like a complete communication to me. You didn't do anything wrong by letting it end at that point.

I think you're like me. 160 characters isn't enough for everything I have to say.

Truth too late wrote:

TinyToad wrote:I do not really like texting in general because I rely heavily on reading body language, tone, facial expression, etc. I have had a sort of phone phobia ever since I was a kid because it would freak me out to talk on the phone not being able to see the other person. So I rarely respond to texts unless someone is asking me a straightforward question like needing to know where a group is meeting at or something. Most of the people I know are used to it by now so I almost never get texts because I almost never reply to them. I do not feel quilt over it though because I am pretty upfront with most people so they know I will probably not respond to a text unless it is important info exchange stuff. If they do not believe me or take me seriously then that is their problem to deal with. For whatever it could possibly worth I do not see any reason for you to feel guilty in your example. If you say something and they say "that's cool" that sounds like a complete communication to me. You didn't do anything wrong by letting it end at that point.

I think you're like me. 160 characters isn't enough for everything I have to say.

I would say there is a high probability. I think I have my fair share of covert narcissistic traits as well as avoidant traits. But it is hard enough to find a professional who is not freaked out by just the borderline label alone so I just stick with that ha. The last time I tried to tell a therapist that I think I have narcissistic traits they told me that it is impossible that I am narcissistic if I think I am narcissistic. Then we just awkwardly stared at each other. It actually came up because I was daring to try to explain to her that therapy is hard because I am often too busy trying to read her expression/tone/body language and figure out what she is thinking and what she wants instead of just talking "normally". I felt like I was having a big brave breakthrough moment in overcoming some of that fearful narcissism and spilling my beans, and she tried to use it to prove that I don't actually have the problem I was telling her about. Sometimes therapy is a trip.

Guilty!! I may not respond for 8 hours and then the guilt starts eating me alive and I'm like ahhh they hate me cuz I didn't say anything back!! I'm sorry but this is a bit of a funny quirk that may be related to bpd. I as well have phone phobia issues on any given day I turn my ignore mode on and off 3 to 4 times, I block people including my boyfriend (they can't tell if their blocked it just archives the messages until I unblock them) I have erased friends numbers. And I NEVER answer the phone unless you are a family member or boyfriend and that's not even a guarantee, which is ironic that I was a receptionist and hopefully will never be again.

@Truth too late - I'd need a blank book and publisher for all I need to say

@TinyToad - I do the same thing! I never told my therapist though, I feel weird telling her that I'm reading into her. A couple times she said that I always seem fine when I come to see her (she has seen me shed like 2 tears in one session only) and I just brushed it off like oh yeah I'm feeling okay today, when really I am having a hard time with pride/hiding behind a smile then the whole time I'm trying to read into her and even after a year of seeing her I still don't feel fully comfortable to say just anything but I also am so attached to her that I refuse to see another therapist.

Yeah, sometimes I do this too. I don't reply because I don't want to ruin the "high."

I wish I knew, but I can't remember the last satisfying text message response I've gotten. I do tend to delay responding to text messages that seem loaded or triggering, since I second guess myself and try hard to make sure I can filter out the influence of personal history in my response to the other person.

Sunfall wrote:I wish I knew, but I can't remember the last satisfying text message response I've gotten. I do tend to delay responding to text messages that seem loaded or triggering, since I second guess myself and try hard to make sure I can filter out the influence of personal history in my response to the other person.

I do that too. *hugs*