i dont think i will ever recover *tw*

i still act like a baby
i want my friends to take care of me as if i am their kid.
i dream of being part of their family, like their younger brother
i want them not to move on in their lives. i dont want them to make new friends. they have moved to their hometown, n i feel so alone
i dont want to make new friends

if this forum werent there, i would've been admitted in some hospital
i dont want to be independent, strong. i want others to take care of me.
i am fed up.
i think death is the only way out.
plz dont give any advice. i dont think i'll ever recover. it's frustrating. i have hatred inside me for my caretaker, for the world, for everyone.

It's tough to feel this way. You asked not to be given advice, so I won't bother. I just wanted to say that I often feel the same way, and yeah, it can be really hard.

I can relate to a lot of what you're feeling. I'm here if you ever want to talk.

I really feel for you, Jaus. I have definite BPD symptoms and I can have some really bad days if something sets me off, but I can also have some fairly good days. It must be terrible if there are never any good days. Do you never have them?

thanks for the replies. there are some good days as well. i'd be lying if i said each day was depressing. but i dont see any future for myself. i think i'll always continue to act like a child. the black n white thinking doesnt go. the excessive overthinking doesnt go.