Borderline Diagnosis but unsure if I still agree....

Since my diagnosis a few months ago, I have done loads of research on BPD, Bipolar, Dissociative disorders, Schizoaffective, Schizophrenia, and numerous other disorders, but mainly focused on BPD due to my own personal diagnosis. I have watched nearly all the youtube videos, and read countless discussions, forums, descriptions, common diagnosis that can be dualed with BPD and have become somewhat confused.... At first I was so sure that I finally had an answer... But the more I read and watched videos the more I became sure that people were either describing it inaccurately, had a much less severe case, or just generally had no clue what they were talking about.
Finally, I came across a video that explained the likenesses between BPD and Dissociative Identity Disorder.. I listened and understood it all... The more I read about the Dissociative Identity Disorder the more I became certain that I had it... I have 95% of the symptoms listed and can completely relate to the feelings of disassociating completely, feeling completely zero emotion whatsoever, having the ability to shut down pain as soon as I begin to feel uncomfortable, having a face that can't be read and is completely stoic, experiencing daily amnesia trying to recall exactly how my day had gone and extreme amnesia regarding days before and tons of missing childhood memory, occasionally feeling as if I'm watching myself go but I'm not really the one in control, feeling like the world around me doesn't feel real (like I'm floating through a dream even though I know that I am not), looking at myself in the mirror in strange, psychotic ways as though it isn't even me that I'm looking at... (I hate when I do that!!!) Being easily startled by things that I constantly think that I see out of the corner of my eye but when I look nothing is there (it makes me jump and my heart races every time), having a negative reel of feedback inside my head when I am doing something and feel annoyed/disgusted with someone or am pushing myself to work "faster, faster, faster". Occasionally being unsure of whether the things I experienced actually happened in a dream, and I have literally experienced my whole demeanor/sentence structure/posture change at the snap of a finger many times because of what kind of situation I am in. As if the perfect Brittany shows up to take over and keep things from messing up. It was less than a week ago and it was such a drastic, immediate change that I was actually about to notice that it had happened. My boyfriend was sitting next to me during it all and I couldn't figure out why he was looking at my like he hadn't met me before. It wasn't until later that I reflected on what I had done....
And I experience every other symptom characterized as a DID symptom ASIDE FROM:
-Finding myself in places that and being unsure how I got there
-Finding things I have bought that I don't remember purchasing
-Seeing/hearing things that aren't there (although I'm not sure if what I mentioned before would actually qualify and seeing/hearing things)


After this realization and countless hours of research, I finally decided to do the unmentionable and take a few online quizzes. Of course, with BPD quizzes, I always qualify. And with Bipolar disorder quizzes and Mania testing, I always qualify...
But the DID quizzes are a little different..... They take your results and score you from 0-100, 30 and above usually means you could qualify for a diagnosis of DID....And that most people who have been clinically diagnosed with DID score in the 40's. My score was 45 every time.
I am convinced I have DID and have either been misdiagnosed with BPD or have a dual-diagnosis. I also struggle with an eating disorder, which is common with Dissociative Identity Disorder (as well as others, but as you can tell, I'm pretty convinced that I've got DID).



What do you guys think???? Please give me feedback because I really need it. It's why I am here.

If you are confused by all the diagnostic labels, you might like Colin Ross' approach... for example in his book The Trauma Model: A Solution to the Problem of Comorbidity. He also writes well about dissociation.

Hi Brit

The dissociative quizzes always give results on a scale- dissociative disorders are on a scale of different levels of severity too. Something I found really helpful was to do a bit of reading in threads in the DID forum. There are some things I relate to, some I don't. I have spoken to others who have a formal DID diagnosis and they have said there is some stuff on the DID forum that they can't personally relate to either. Everyone's dissociation is going to be a little different, given what's shaped the dissociating mechanism we have. I don't fully meet all of the criteria either, but I clearly have some dissociative issues.

I'd suggest having a bit of a poke around and a read and see whether you feel you can relate. Do you have a therapist at the moment? What are their thoughts?

I have done extensive research, watched video after video, read experiences and explanations, and taken numerous quizzes. I have been scored in each and every test has scored me in the category of having a very severe case.

If you'll go to my profile, I have posted a newer discussion titled "I think I met my first alter. It was incredible." In the discussion (there are many replies) I describe my experience and in the comments below I explain a lot more.

I've come to the resounding conclusion that I do indeed have DID, and, from what I've read, I'm assuming it to be a moderately severe case.

Please take a look and let me know what ya think! Thanks for your feedback.

I am not someone who can diagnose, sorry. I'm just someone else going through some similar sorts of things. I think it's great that you've managed to talk about it in some detail in the DID forum though. I really hope it helps with learning more about what's going on for you

What you need is a formal differential diagnosis. That will put an end to this merry-go-round of "Well, I think it's borderline PD." "Nah, it looks like schizoaffective disorder to me." "No, you're both wrong; it's DID." That is crazy making, isn't it?

There are diagnostic interviews for making differential diagnosis but you won't find them online. They are expensive and to use them properly the interviewer usually has to take days or weeks of special training. Most therapist don't have this training and many don't even know these special tools exist. So ask for a referral to a diagnostician.