Today's Subject: Why can't I have a normal relationship?

So I've been seeing my boyfriend for two whole months now. And quite frankly, I'm already sick of relationships.

I don't know why I got into the relationship in the first place, all I wanted was a friend and someone who i could just converse with and I sense he is starting to feel.. boredom because all he has been doing for the past week is playing online video games, so much won't even look at me when i'm there and I'm now trying to avoid spending time with him/going to his house because I don't want to sit there and watch movies while he ignores me for 5-6 hours then expects sex.

I just feel we don't have anything to talk about anymore..

I keep getting the feeling I want to break up with him but I kind of feel bad because I took his virginity, he claims he loves me and has even started talking about moving in with me and for a borderline, this is like a ######6 jackpot for me, I should be happy I have someone who adores me and wants me but i'm bored with it and every time I try too talk to him, that said borderline thoughts will invade my mind and I back out because I don't want to be alone. I really am a coward or I'm just crazy.

It's not just only this but I feel he lies to me too about what he is doing even though I know deep down he is gaming and I feel he is avoiding me. Ugh.

Perhaps you like him because hes pre-occupied, if he stopped playing video games you would get bored and move on and say he was smothering you, its classic borderline push-pull, maybe you need treatment for BPD not try to control or figure out your boyfriend.

Perhaps I do.
I'm seeing my psychologist in about 9 days so i may bring it up to her.

Try to see if you can like his lifestyle. Playing too many online games can be an addiction. If he does it in a normal amount, I would say there is no need to overdramatize the situation. Due to your disorder you are forced to have people around you that need a "fix". Just imagine your boyfriend would be the ideal man how boring would that be? Exactly perfect is boring too .