How do you react to beggars?

I felt I had to write a reply to this question to share with you all what happened to my son about two months ago.
We were walking near town when we saw a lady begging, looking rather dirty. I have always tried to teach my son to be considerate, polite and not judgemental as lots of people behave the way they do due to various problems that we, being more fortunate, can't understand.
So, we saw this lady and my son, who is only 10, was eating some chocolate covered rice cakes. He spontaneously wanted to offer her one and when he asked me, I encouraged him. He was willing to give her the whole packet.
On approaching he gently asked her if she would like one but her reaction was frightening and aggressive towards him. He jumped and was really upset. Now the way I see it, if you are really hungry you would take one and be grateful and touched that a child as young as ten cares enough about you, after all, he could have ignored you like most people do... I felt so sorry for my gentle, caring son. It was hard not to be judgemental... I don't know if I would encourage him to do that again!

Honour wrote:I felt I had to write a reply to this question to share with you all what happened to my son about two months ago.
We were walking near town when we saw a lady begging, looking rather dirty. I have always tried to teach my son to be considerate, polite and not judgemental as lots of people behave the way they do due to various problems that we, being more fortunate, can't understand.
So, we saw this lady and my son, who is only 10, was eating some chocolate covered rice cakes. He spontaneously wanted to offer her one and when he asked me, I encouraged him. He was willing to give her the whole packet.
On approaching he gently asked her if she would like one but her reaction was frightening and aggressive towards him. He jumped and was really upset. Now the way I see it, if you are really hungry you would take one and be grateful and touched that a child as young as ten cares enough about you, after all, he could have ignored you like most people do... I felt so sorry for my gentle, caring son. It was hard not to be judgemental... I don't know if I would encourage him to do that again!

Homeless people are usually treated like subpar humans, targets of the most cruel emotional (and often physical) abuse a human being can withstand. No way we are biologically prepared to be "homeless", emotionally.

With that said, never let vulnerable people near them. It can be a danger regardless of how well meaning the homeless person is, as they can be going through some psychotic, manic or w/e break, or under drugs or worse, their rebound.

I wouldn't feel so judgemental. I once saw a homeless schizophrenic break the arm of a kid 10 meters in front of me for shaking his hand to strong when the kid gave him water. lol



Unrelated, but funny: one time a homeless guy approached me and said: "May I have 1 real [my currency] so I can buy my pot?". He did it so putting his hand on my shoulder while I was sitting, it was menacing. I gave him whatever was in my pocket. He counted carefully and said "It's 15 cents short".

I feel sorry for genuinely homeless people but where I live in London there are alot of people who aren't genuine who just try and get your money. I once in my late teens gave some money to a "homeless" girl, I don't know what nationality she was, eastern european I think, but a few minutes after I had, I had her and 5 other woman chasing after me screaming at me for money! obviously they thought I was a soft touch and were all working together. I had to run into the tube and jump on a train to escape them. Never given a penny again.

justagirl00 wrote:Thanks for responding TW....I'm becoming really intrigued with Brazil.

What happens if a "Nordic" person immigrates to Brazil? Do they receive special priviledges or benefits?

For a lot of people, yes, depending on how blue eyed, blonde and attractive you are. Upper class people are used to meet people from other countries, and are of what we consider a superior ethnicity often, so from them you'll get no special admiration just for that.

I used to want to travel to Venezuela, but was told by Venezuelan friend it would be too dangerous for me, especially with my "look."

Brazil is somewhat safe. Just follow some rules, like not trust anyone, keeping an eye on your stuff and not going in some areas of some cities. If you look like a tourist, depending on where you are, oh yea, you're a target.

You have said you are "mixed," i.e. one of your parents black, the other white? What is life like in Brazil as a mixed person? What is your "class"?

Most brazilians are mixed. Black, pure black, are the rarest site. We actually have more japanese than blacks, and the chinese are catching up. lol However, the great majority are, uh, "first wave" european, mixed with native and some black. This trio is by far the most common, and most families are so mixed it's not uncommon for siblings to be born with different skin color, hair type/color and eye color. We are very mixed. You'll most likely find pure whites in the southern states, which were colonized heavily during the early 20th century, by germans and italians. The other whites mixed, for being around for longer.

I, myself, am:
on the mother side: my mother's father was the son of portuguese-jewish immigrants, with curly hair and light eyes, and also white skin. My mother's mother was the daughter of an immigrant from Spain, who came to Brazilin his mid 30s and married a native girl. That's why my grandmother has native-colored skin, that reddish-brown you see on north american indians. My mother was born lighter skinned, with blonde hair that later turned brown.

on my father's side: I'm not 100% sure on all of this, but my great grandfather on the grandfather side came from France and married I don't know who. My grandmother was a ginger, I'm not sure from where she got that hair. lol

As for me, well, want to see a picture? I can PM you it. I'm not shy!
You can't reach me in Brazil, serial killers!!

Sorry so many questions. My curiosity is piqued, and having a Brazilian who seems so willing to reply candidly, I can't pass it up.

Do most people speak only Portugese, or are they multilingual?

No problem, I don't really mind. In fact, I like exposing to the world how Brazil really is. We're more misunderstood than any other country in the world. Some people here still think I speak spanish.

Most people speak only portuguese, but from the lower middle class and up, everyone will have some notion of english or be quite fluent (even if rusty for not practicing conversation). The japanese and chinese immigrants, as well as german, arab/turkish and tradiitonal jewish families, will be fluent in their original language, too. In fact, in our chinatown and japanesetown, they speak chinese and japanese. And many cities on the german states still teach german at regular schools.

Some italians and spanish families (such as my grandmother's family) speak some italian or spanish, but most of them let go for the portuguese and english most speak somewhat.



And I'm middle-class. Struggling sometimes, due to my erratic nature.

EarlyMorning....ouch, that hurts. I've been called a "soft touch" before, but I think its better than being cold hearted.

That said, I've been taken by "gypsies" in Europe. (I use quotes because I don't they think were culturally true "gypsies," but more a type or group of people who band together and live as nomadic transients, running cons off of people across Europe. Its not a "racist" remark I'm making.) They were obviously running a con. I think that's why France recently deported all "gypsies" and have received flack for it, but I'm not surprised, as I saw what they were doing after only a short visit there.

Typical ASPDs will take advantage, but it doesn't make me believe that there aren't true down and out people who do need help.

I guess take it on a case by case basis. I can usually sense, I think, when a person is conning and looking for drug money, and when a person genuinely needs help.

Thank you for your in depth reply, TN. I'm endlessly curious about this sort of stuff. Never travelled to Central or South America but one day I will. I've travelled extensively in other "third world" countries.

Brazil sounds very complex from what you described.

I have no doubt it has been misrepresented in the media for a long time. That just adds to the intrigue, and the curiosity.

I will start brushing up on my Portugese.

I used to be super sympathetic to homeless people.............and then I worked with them.

Granted, I worked with mostly homeless people that were addicts when I was doing substance abuse therapy, but I was heavily exposed to the population as a whole and I discovered there were way more individuals simply out to take advantage of others than there were genuine individuals who really just wanted help. It's unfortunate the "bad apples" give others such a bad rep but it definitely makes me think twice before I give them a handout.

Now I simply give them resources in the community to receive food, shelter, clothing, etc but I would NEVER give them money or even buy them a meal. Lol my friend bought a homeless woman a sub sandwich and she threw it back at her screaming "I don't like turkey!"

justagirl00 wrote:EarlyMorning....ouch, that hurts. I've been called a "soft touch" before, but I think its better than being cold hearted.

I'm not sure what you're stating here as it's a bit vague for me. Are you saying I'm cold hearted? Not that it matters too much but can easily mistake what someone's intending for me to read if the sentence is open to interpretation (AS).

If I was homeless I'd appreciate any sandwich I'd be that hungry (as long as it didn't contain sprouts - why would it?! - or couscous - I hate chickpeas) but I would be appreciative. But then I don't drink or take drugs so a sandwich and a cuppa would be top notch

EarlyMorning wrote:

justagirl00 wrote:EarlyMorning....ouch, that hurts. I've been called a "soft touch" before, but I think its better than being cold hearted.

I'm not sure what you're stating here as it's a bit vague for me. Are you saying I'm cold hearted?

No, I'm not saying you are cold hearted. I'm sorry if it came off that way. I'm saying, if I had a choice, to be a soft touch or to be cold hearted, I'd choose the lesser of two evils, and be a soft touch. I don't know you at all, so I couldn't possibly say which you are. I'm not being judgmental at all, if I sound that way at all, it is purely a mistake.

Thats cool. I thought as much. I just misinterpret things when they're not crystal clear. Thank you for clarifying. Even if you had meant it that wouldve been ok cos you're entitled to an opinion.

I don't like being cold hearted to the beggars but I think I am, and I am because I just can't work out who are the real mccoy. It's a shame.

And it's a bigger shame there's anyone on the streets at all. It's my worst fear. Awful awful awful predicament to be in.