Grrrrr! I can't overdose. *TW*

Yes it is my own fault. I went to some kind of drug rehab place and they deal with benzos. I was addicted to Etizolam but they put me on diazepam instead. I have to collect my diazepam 3 times a week. Tonight I just need to sleep. They would never understand this. All I can think of is self harm. That's a second best. I was trying to get my life back on track but I knew really inside me that it was false. I want pills or harm. I've spend lots of money that I don't really have, which I thought might help but it really hasn't.
Sorry, I just had to get all of this out because nobody in my life understands and you people do.

I know it's hard, but you need to stay strong.

And it's a good thing that you can't overdose. I can't believe I am actually saying this, but that's not going to get you anywhere. And neither is cutting. Although I'm probably the wrong person to be telling you that.

I don't quite understand. Are you an out patient in this rehab place? Do you have any therapy there?

But either way it's not your fault. You did the right thing, getting help. That takes courage. Deciding to take your life in your own hands and try to get off the etizolam.

But I do understand you.

Has anyone ever talked to you about having an emergency kit. Like putting ice on you wrists instead of cutting?

I know it's not the same. But I don't want you to hurt yourself.

You looked for help, you got help, you are amazing. Please stay strong! So many people care, even if it doesn't feel like it.
Try and focus and fight the bad thoughts. There is light, I promise.. We don't know how far away and how much more we have to fight, but there is light.