I like a girl...

There is this girl in my class that I like. I can't stop thinking about her, so much that it has affected my ability to study. Whenever I see her in class, she doesn't talk to me, doesn't say hi, doesn't even look at me. I get very depressed and angry. Now I am going to fail all my classes because I couldn't study.

I tried discussing with my psychiatrist about BPD, but he didn't give me an official diagnosis. Are my symptoms similar to what a person with BPD would experience? What should I do now that I am probably going to drop out of college?

Imperius wrote:Are my symptoms similar to what a person with BPD would experience?

Yes, I had a similar experience during college.

Try asking yourself this question: do you truly like this girl, or do you like the idealized version of her that you may have conceived? It sounds like you have never interacted with this girl, so, other than being attracted to her physically, how do you know that you would be attracted to her on personal level?

In reality you I think you just have a crush, however, with BPDs a crush can get way out of hand.

What worked for me when I was obsessing over my idealized version of a girl was simply forcing myself to talk to her. When I discovered that she was nothing like the perfect person I had conjured up in my head, I lost all interest in her and was free from my obsession. This may or may not work for you, but it's worth a try if you can muster up the nerve to talk to her. If you are able to rid yourself of this obsession it may allow you to be emotionally stable enough to continue with college.

I pretty much only obsess over people who show interest but that's just me. I'm afraid of rejection. But that may just be my flavor of BPD.

Diagnostic:
Love

Symptons:
Loss of Concentration
Unmotivated Smiles
Obsession with one single person.
Other friendships, relationships and interesting became boring
Tendency to perceive even flaws of the loved one as goods.

make sure you have a crazy adventure to look back on

Imperius wrote:There is this girl in my class that I like. I can't stop thinking about her, so much that it has affected my ability to study. Whenever I see her in class, she doesn't talk to me, doesn't say hi, doesn't even look at me. I get very depressed and angry. Now I am going to fail all my classes because I couldn't study.

I tried discussing with my psychiatrist about BPD, but he didn't give me an official diagnosis. Are my symptoms similar to what a person with BPD would experience? What should I do now that I am probably going to drop out of college?

Hello Welcome to the forum.

I always have intense infatuations/obsessions. Life feels empty when I don't have someone I'm crushing on. And yes, feeling depressed when they don't seem to like me back.

That in itself does not mean you have BPD though. There are many other symptoms that go along with BPD. The best thing is to continue talking to your doctor like you have.

Hey thanks for the replies guys. I ended up not writing any of my exams. I am going to switch programs now. I am just afraid it might happen again because I am so afraid of rejection. This is the second time I thought people didn't like me and I quit school. I am from Canada and the psychiatrists I met here don't seem to want to give a diagnosis. They keep saying it doesn't offer a solution to the problem.

My case worker is looking to refer me to a dialectical behavioural therapy group but there is a wait list. Do you guys think it will help? Should I go see a private psychiatrist so I get help sooner?

I used to live in Canada and actually felt the medical system to be pretty high quality. That is just my experience though, not knowing what your experience is.

Many people have found DBT extremely helpful. A label/diagnosis is not always necessary, as long as you are receiving treatments. Many mental health professionals have found labels/diagnoses can do more harm than good, so they avoid giving them.

Yes, people with BPD are sometimes known to have obsessive, ruminating thoughts about others. I personally, would need to know more about the big picture before rendering an opinion about whether you have BPD or not.
I have had periods of being consumed with these types of thoughts about others. and the person doesn't even need to be someone I was romanticly involved with in order for this to occur. It has been ex friends in the past as well as ex partners.
It's gotten somewhat better with time and therapy. It still happens to a lesser extent from time to time, but it doesn't consume my every waking thought like it once might have.