This is hell and 'doctors' are making it worse

I have no idea how I got in this situation. I was doing a lot better. I'm in the UK and went back to university but couldn't cope due to anxiety. But anyway, I'm still so much better than a year ago.
Now I'm with some drug rehab team because I got addicted to etizolam (kinda like valium) and it was fine at first because they just transferred me to valium equivalent and it was going ok. Then I had to move and this new drug team are ######6 awful. They have NO idea whatsoever. It started off with me having to collect my medication twice a week, then three times a week and now 5 times a week...and I have to take it in front of the chemist. I mean, what the ###$?! Like I am going to OD on 10mg of valium!
I was away for a few days and missed one day of prescriptions and I called them to get new ones for where I was and now they're insisting that I go straight back there tomorrow (300 miles) in case I have seizures or fits. Honestly, how do these people get jobs?? I've taken over *mod edit- a lot* valium before and nothing has happened apart from 12 hours sleep, which was disappointing because I was hoping for at least 24 hours.
I don't have the pills to OD right now and it makes me want to go back to etizolam, which I could buy online. I'm ######6 sick of these so called professionals. Now this will lead to self harm, which I have stopped because I want tattoos and it's really difficult over scars. I have no idea what to do! I don't want to go back home, I was depressed there and I was all alone. At least where I am I have people to look after me. And suddenly I realise, what the hell happened to me?
Please excuse the complaining. I'm not the attention seeking type (people never see my scars for example). I'm saying all this because this is how it seems to have BPD. You have to say sorry or excuse yourself. They never ever take you seriously or they take you too serious. It's either "He's got BPD so he just wants attention" or "HE'S GOING TO KILL HIMSELF!!!!!!!!" I want neither. I just want to get on with my life. This thing we have is a ######6 curse.

i dont know about medicines but what i know about anxiety is that exercise helps.

i go on long walks to help me with it and also i dont think of anxiety as that bad or something that will permanently go away.

its like cold or fever. even if i take medicines for cold, it can come in the next season.

as for people's behavior towards me, i dont have much people around me, so that helps. feels lonely at times, but it's all right.

Hi there. It sounds like you are very stressed out by this situation. I'm no professional so I can't talk about meds and doses, but please don't overdose. It's bad, it's going to make things worse. I have a friend who did it and she told me how bad it is. She did it to calm down and sleep but she ended up in the ER a few times. It's a bad thing to do so please don't hurt yourself.

If the doctors who are taking care of you don't sound good for you, have you thought about going to see someone else? Someone who valodates you and listens to your problems?

You don't have to apologize for complaining. It's a legit thing to do in this case. Sounds like you're going through a very hard situation.

Please take care. Hang in there, you can come out of this.

Hugs