Therapist relationship

Unfortunately, most therapists don't have a clue as to what they are doing and have no business working as mental health professionals. It sounds like your therapist is one of those. The whole dead-pan demeanor may work well when dealing with a textbook, but it has little value when dealing with actual people--especially borderlines! As a borderline, you need to relate to an actual human being, not a machine. If a machine was all you needed, you would be fine interacting with your electrical gadgets and appliances. You would come home and say, "I don't need a lover; I don't need friends; I don't need someone to bond with me; I just need Angry Birds." And if you actually felt that way, you would be schizoid, not borderline. But you are a borderline. You are particularly sensitive to rejection and abandonment. So why in the world would a therapist treating a borderline act in a way that would come across to anyone--especially a borderline--as rejecting and abandoning? And yet therapists cry for pity. "Whoa to me. I'm treating a borderline, and he/she does not get better. It must be that borderlines are inherently helpless." Maybe. Or maybe therapists should start acting like actual people and not machines. Maybe that might work!

Unfortunately I think I am too stressed to know what to think now.

These people have heard every shocking thing in the book. That's their job. They deal on a daily basis with psychopaths and deeply disturbed individuals. They aren't going to be shocked by what you say. Concerned possibly, but not shocked.

After The Fall wrote:These people have heard every shocking thing in the book. That's their job. They deal on a daily basis with psychopaths and deeply disturbed individuals. They aren't going to be shocked by what you say. Concerned possibly, but not shocked.

Not that simple.
Most therapist refuse to treat psycopaths.

And as a schizotypal, I know my therapist felt shocked about things I told her. But I do think that this shock was good to me. It made me a little less of non-conformist. At least not to the point of avoiding doing things that are shocking on purpose(with the intention of shocking). Well I do care about her, so why doing that?