Are Borderlines "immature"?

I feel like I can't grow up like others do. I'm way into my adulthood, but I feel like I still think and act like a teenager. I'm stuck in this 15 or even 13 year old mentality. Life happens, I have life experiences, but nothing "sticks." It seems like I still perceive and react to the world like an adolescent.

Is this a Borderline trait? I think I've noticed this among other Cluster Bs, so maybe its a Cluster B thing?

Is it a bad or a good trait?

If its bad, is there a way to break out of it?

at times its ok to be immature. like when i was chatting with my friend, i often talk weird stuff and its ok.

it depends on the situation. often even i act like a child

sometimes i feel like some child and i realize that it would be difficult for others in that situation to be with me.

i dont know, i mostly avoid people.

Thank you Jaus

Maybe its not all bad.

I used to think I was mature because I always seemed to be ahead of the curve on picking up intellectual interests and ideas, but apparently that's never been the case.

I've been told by quite a number of people that I'm immature. I don't necessarily agree but I can see it. I'm not immature like in the sense that I am a slacker or laugh at fart jokes or anything. I think it's more like I feel spited easily and am not good at taking account of other people's opinions or feelings. I'm also a total slob and haven't yet figured out how to be an adult in terms of cleaning, cooking, etc., but that may be more a function of my ADHD than my BPD.

I dunno. I've never quite figured out the root of my apparent immaturity. As self-aware as I may be at times, I always find I'm not really as in tune with how I'm perceived as I think I am. It's so funny how everyone on here seems to be incredibly worried about how others see them, while I've never really cared too much and thought I was perfectly likeable. But the more I look into it, the more of a rude, childish, and selfish person I appear to have been in the past. Maybe currently. Who knows.

Ugh. I hate thinking about this stuff.

Oh and it's definitely not a positive trait. There's a difference between being young at heart and being immature. I think we should all strive to learn from life and treat people and situations with a grown up and mature response. I kind of feel like I'm 24 going on 18 sometimes, but it's better than 14 which is where I seem to have started. Don't think of it in terms of something to be solved. Just think of maturity and adulthood coming with self-awareness, kindness, and perseverance.

AmorousDestruction wrote:I'm not immature like in the sense that I am a slacker or laugh at fart jokes or anything. I think it's more like I feel spited easily and am not good at taking account of other people's opinions or feelings.

I feel this too- it's not immaturity in a childish way, but in a way of not being able to manage emotions and function within the generally accepted standards of someone my age. Like that a 30yo should be able to cope with someone saying "I'm going away for two weeks" without getting into a major flap about it. I probably should be able to say "have a nice time, I'll see you when you get back" rather than "you don't want to deal with me anymore..." and shut down over it.

I think it's there because there's some things that we just didn't manage to learn to deal with properly as children.

I was always mature for my age, and, as an adult, still find myself to be pretty mature.

As far as emotions go, I don't know if I think how we feel about things make us mature or immature. I do think that our actions can determine that, however..... Internalizing is my thing, so if I am flipping out about something, chances are you won't know it. I wouldn't say that makes me mature, but it keeps me from doing some fairly immature things, I think.

I'm immature in the way that I might play football with a beer can, in the middle of the night and in the middle of the street. What other girls my age don't necessarily do. Is it immaturity? Perhaps, the most important thing I suppose is to take really important things seriously.

YEs, immaturity is a classic Borderline trait. I tend to act both very childish sometimes (I'm an 18 year old guy). The areas where I act "childish" include the topics that I talk about with other people as well as my interests and actions. Another area where I act childish is not being able to handle the responsibility of an adult a lot of times. I have BPD and now "suspected" disorganized schizophrenia by my psychologist.

The psychopathology of the childish behavior is not currently known, but it is a quite prominent symptom with me at least.

I think it is a borderline thing. I feel that way too. I feel like a little kid and I need someone to take care of me. That's where the whole abandonment and unstable sense of self piece comes in. Healthy adults have a stable sense of who they are so they can deal with things like rejection whereas we have a really difficult time not internalizing everything. When I'm with my boyfriend, I feel like I just want him to take care of every emotional need I have. I recommend not thinking of it as immaturity, that term sounds kind of mean to me. It's just how we see the world I guess.

What people describe as "immature" is usually a bunch of traits that get lumped together. I don't really like the term. It's vague and it's invalidating. Adults aren't supposed to have extreme emotions or experience separation anxiety. That's the root of it. Being called "childish" seems like a cruel attack though. It's dismissive and is also an attack on intelligence, which is usually unfounded. There's more dimensions to maturity than emotionality.