I'm New Here! And question! Please help!

Hello! I am a college student, junior.
I recently learned that I have this and it helps a lot. I was always wondering what was wrong with me etc, and although it's hard to hear, all I know is it helps me take care of myself to know.
Right now I am wondering what to do because of my indecision. I know it's a symptom and it's a real problem right now because I shift identities and have a hard time finding out what I actually want. For example I have a background of DJing and running with a rather fast crowd then I transferred to a big state school, a different atmosphere. To fit the identity I wanted of a social, popular, organized sorority girl I joined one and I hate it. I hate the fakeness, the girls are younger and mean to me, I have no time to do things I want and it's expensive. However I'm afraid to get rid of that identity and what it means to me. I have an abusive ex that is on campus and when I have that sorority girl identity I'm not scared of him.
I'm just so scared that because of my illness and struggles I won't have the normal college experience and regret not pushing myself to do things I don't want
What should I do?? I dread going to meetings, socials etc but because of black and white thinking I assume I'll have no social life if I drop (I have friends but I don't see them all the time)

Thank you!

Hi and welcome to PF. Maybe just try to take part in the activities you actually enjoy? Like i always say, if you are unsure of something, sit down and make a list. I am sure you enjoy doing some things so maybe try to focus on those? There are people everywhere in college and you may get to meet even more that way who share your interests.

I like to write out my thoughts and organize them on paper. It helps out a ton when thinking of anything complex.