Haunted by my Friend's Death Trigger Warning

by **MartianRobotGirl** » Mon Oct 20, 2014 2:45 am

My friend had a psychology and a law degree. She was brilliant. She also had Borderline Personality Disorder, just like me.
She took her own life earlier this month. I wish I could say it came as a shock to me, but it didn't.
She was 20 years older than me. Her family had a lot of money, so she got the best mental health care a person can buy. but still, her BPD got the best of her.
I'm afraid I'll still be tortured by the effects of my BPD in 20 years. and that it will be hurting my loved one's. Even though I've recently found a med combo that works pretty well for me.
Is there anyone out there in their 40's or older who has BPD, and is living a decent existance? Is there any hope for a normal life? I wish I had more answers.

Hi MRG

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. Huge hugs to you.

I'm not in my 40's yet- I hope there is a better/decent means of coping and living ahead. I think it's a big positive that you've found meds that help you- a step in the right direction.

20 years is a long way ahead. Are there some goals- even small ones, you can work towards with regard to dealing with your BPD issues better?

by **splat** » Mon Oct 20, 2014 4:51 pm

I'm in the age category and was doing ok, with just patches of bad until about a year ago. I didn't get the BPD nod until 6 months ago. I have always struggled with life and scrambled brains to some degree, but normal is very perspective orientated.

by **thebetterhalf** » Mon Oct 20, 2014 5:05 pm

Sorry you lost a friend. Im in the end of my 40's, its not the care you get or recieve. Its about what you do with that care you recieved. It how bad your condtion maybe and how much you learn to take care of yourself. It can be a daily battle, that some just cant win no matter the help they get. We are all differnt. For me i had to cut off all negative people from my life or just take them in small doses.
being around positve people has made me 10 times better.

by **MartianRobotGirl** » Tue Oct 21, 2014 12:42 am

Thank you everyone.
Yes, I am trying to work towards some goals for improvement. I stopped taking Buspar cuz I think it's taking away from Trileptal's effectiveness. I'm also moving out of a toxic home environment.
I can only hope I won't end up like my friend.

Haunted by my Friend's Death Trigger Warning