First Post - Need Advice

I've been here for quite a while lurking. I feel like I know some of you.
I was diagnosed 11 years ago. Most of my life has been very high functioning and then...and I have to start all over.

I'm in a crisis mode right now. Divorcing an NPD, sleeping around, outrageous lies, drugs and drinking.

Anyway a few months ago I met someone that I connected with. I knew there was some PD from the start but I was never able to pin it down and he was young and I think unaware.
In the last two week I've been out of control with my anger and systematically purging people from my life. Men mostly. But he only got a taste of it. He's a lot younger than me 25 to my 38. There were differences to overcome but it never big difference. So, as often would I gave him my bank card to go get some cash and buy groceries and other things. I don't like to leave the house much. It was understood he was going home to change and get some things. We were chatting, he said the police were there to talk to him and he disappeared for about 18 hours.

He called the next evening, his father had died. And ever since then he has except for a few short messages saying he needed to be alone and didn't know for how long. I said, no problem but I needed my money back. He replied, of course. But ignored any attempt to actually make a plan to give it to me. He called last night and cried on the phone that he missed me and was leaving his mothers house and going to come see me today. Silence again, I lost it, I texted 100 times. I've never been that bad.

Now, I know I don't want him back but I can't get over him stealing from me. The money was for something you don't involve the police in and I asked him to take it out of my account.

Should I just let it go? I'm humiliating myself with these text messages. It's enough money to be annoying but not the end of the world. The bills will still be paid. To him, it's a lot of money.

I know where he lives but I'm so afraid to go there and face rejection and insults in front of his housemates that I can't bring myself to do it. I couldn't make him give it to me anyway.

Meanwhile, he's going to bury his father this week. I know him well enough that I don't think this death effects like other people.

Should I just let him steal from me? My only defense is he cares a lot about his reputation as a stand up guy. I've started making friends with one of his circle but I mentioned it once and said please don't think I'm trying to get in the middle, you should be a loyal friend.

It is so unlike the person I know (not the silent treatment) but the stealing, I now don't know if he is dangerous or is an exceptional liar.

I could get people to get it back or convince the police that I didn't authorize it. I look very respectable and I'm better at this stuff them him. But I don't want to get all crazy on revenge. I'm trying to tell the truth and not hurt people.

Any advice at all, would really help.

Thanks!

Hi!

I will cut straight to the chase with this one. I think you may have to make a decision about what is more important to you right now - stability or getting the money back. If i understood correctly, you are divorcing right now? In that case, i know from friends it is recommended to wait at least 6 months before starting dating again....and if your marriage was harmful, you may need some extra time to heal and perhaps not jump straight into a new relationship.

Maybe use this time to heal yourself.