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I relate a lot to what you're saying. Sounds a lot like me in many ways. Sorry that I don't have any advice though. I deal with the same crap.

edit: a shame you deleted it. I thought it was a very good post. I'm sorry if you feel triggered by the whole thing. I know what that's like.

I wish I could say something that would be helpful. But if it helps any, I definitely relate to what you were saying. I just don't have any answers cause I struggle with this crap too.

Thank you blank identity

I'm glad you relate. I deleted because I thought the person would recognize the situation if by chance he were to search. Not a likely chance, but I didn't like the idea.

I feel better though knowing you relate.

Thank you for responding.

You're welcome.