Hi, new with a half self-diagnosis.

I'm very aware of how you feel about self-diagnoses on here, however, one of the parts of a diagnosis I received in 2012, when I was 16? 17? (I'll be 20 early this December) had traits of BPD. I didn't know enough about it then, and I was underage, so they couldn't diagnose me with it (you have to be 18 in Canada to be diagnosed.) I haven't received a diagnosis since, but I will be starting therapy again soon.

It's almost relieving to feel like I can relate for the first time. I remember reading about BPD maybe a year ago and thinking, "oh my god, that's me."

Loving my life, feeling so grateful. Like I have two feet on the ground. Being extremely appreciative of my family. Making lists, work-out plans that I never do. Feeling motivated. Then feeling completely, irrationally lonely. Abandoned. Betrayed. Making plans to move out of my mothers house, never talk to my parents or my sister again because I'm convinced that they don't care about me. Feeling like everyone is ganging up on me. Being extremely angry. Hating them. Frequent and erratic episodes involving unprotected sex, drinking, drugs. Since I was 13. Putting myself in the hospital multiple times. That time I decided, the summer that I turned 18, that I would start professionally prostituting and got a private loan of $4000, made a business plan, and blew the money after a few months of hooking. Getting out of it and realizing that the entire thing was weird and VERY vague..

This is the only thing I can identify with at the moment. I hope I can get a proper diagnosis soon.

Hi! I'm C. I hope you're all doing okay.

Hi and welcome to the forums please enjoy your stay!

Petalbb,

I want to say that I can relate. I met someone with BDP about two years ago. When I first found out about it, I did briefly look it up just to introduce myself to it a little. I only read a bit into it, but I remember thinking, "this sounds exactly like me". I've always had a tendency to project traits from others onto myself, which while I do not consciously try to do this, I've always been aware that I do, and I simply dismissed the similarities because of this.

Now it's been a few years of an on/off relationship with this guy (sadly, it seems this might actually be the end this time) and I've become much more interested in understanding BPD. Yet, the more I read, the more I relate to myself and my life. I am only self-diagnosed at this point, but I definitely think I have a lot of strong support to the claim that I have BDP too. It's to the point where I'm debating consulting a professional, but that's hard for me. I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for that yet.

It's funny: I just started watched the second season of American Horror Story: Asylum. The season starts out with a journalist wanting information on someone in Briarcliff Asylum, yet before she knows it, she ends up being trapped there as a patient herself. I can't help but make a connection between her and me in this situation. Really though, I'd take BPD over being commited to Briarcliff any day =P That is a messed up show. So good, yet so messed up.

Anyway, I just wanted to respond. I'm so happy I've stumbled over these forums; they've really given me a lot of comfort in the few days I've been on here. I hope all also goes well with you!