fml why do I have to have all the $#%^ meds

I looked up epilim and it doesn't even work for depression just agitation.

I think my shrink thinks I'm aspd.

Anyone used bupropion as a mood stabilizer or valium prn?

I read epilim causes obesity.

Valium doesn't work for depression either. And is addictive. Bupropion I've had and affects depression but not depression in most bpd cases because it affects the dopamine levels which are naturally heightened in most bpd cases anyway.

Epilim was the first mood stabiliser I tried when I was given a BPD diagnosis. I only managed a few days on it because of bad side effects, but in the time I was on it, my moods and thoughts did slow down a lot and felt less overwhelming. I've not tried bupropion.

A lot of mood stabilisers and antipsychotics do cause weight gain, but it is possible to manage it- I recently managed to lose over 15kg while still taking olanzapine through controlling how much sugar (I've cut out all refined sugar) and carbohydrates (all in moderation) I eat and doing medium-high intensity exercise every day to get myself back to a healthy weight.

Have you asked why your doctor decided on those particular meds for you?

I haven't even been officially diagnosed with anything, they are just treating symptoms.
I am told I have a thought disorder because of my stimulation seeking. But I think I have a mood disorder.
I'm on the bpd/ptsd cocktail and zoloft, risperidone isn't cutting it, I am not that psychotic that I need a high dose of risperidone so I'm going on epilim because this happens:
I get triggered and become psycho
I go get a muscle tension release then panic
I become depressed
I self medicate with caffeine
Caffeine triggers panic
I go back to normal

I was never this bad, I made myself a lot worse by doing steroids last year.
It's like I've had a stroke or something. Unless zoloft is meant to worsen mood somehow?

i like running but i'll never be great at it
that 's ok i can deal with that
now what i can do is take drugs to be a better runner
personaly i think that learning to deal with the fact that i'll never be a great runner is a good skill to have but ofc getting better with drugs is eazyer and perhaps more gratifying

Relying on drugs is less gratifying.
My problem is my limbic system is fried.

I expose myself to a normal life, get triggered, get unstable then become psychotic. I was always bpd but never like this, this is ptsd induced from drug use.

The doctors always expect me to get better in a year but i need more time.

I'm just a bit pissed I need a chemical lobotomy to put up with my family, I'm really uncomfortable with a 3rd sex drive lowering med. But I know I'm crazy so whatever will keep me out of jail.

I will find a way to prn dostinex if i have to so I can least get laid.

I feel villified.

I did my research on bpd and i am being given meds that lower my sex drive.

Risperidone and now they wanna put me on epilim that will make me fat and bald.

I'm an endomorph and I've had testicular cancer. I'm gonna demand olanzapine and lithium. It's like they are trying their best to make me a vegetable they even put me in with a schizophrenic community when i was discharged.