Are you a loner?

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I am a complete loner and prefer to be alone than with people because people just irritate me and do not do things how I want. However, I know this is not really good, so when I spend time with people I am still happy and am not rude to them or anything like that but I still prefer to be alone than around people.

Yes, but it goes in shifts for me. I'm a loner lately but during my 20s I always had a boyfriend and friends I spent time with. That was my period when I could not stand to be alone. If I found myself home alone I would just go out to a bar just so I didn't have to be home alone. Just to be around people, even if I had to walk into the bar alone, and sit there alone until someone talked to me, it didn't matter, it was worth it.

These days I'm home alone almost all the time. Other people are too triggering to me. Either they irritate me, or I take everything they say as a put down, or I get too triggered by jealousy. Nobody can do right by me these days so I opt just to stay alone.

I'm very afraid of rejection too so I don't put myself out there and try to meet new people. It was different in my 20s when being alone was too intolerable and I would do anything to avoid it. Now I prefer being a loner though because I usually get involved with people who mistreat me and take advantage of my neediness.

I am an introverted person, so I find it very difficult to approach people, make small talk etc. I don't understand why people ask questions for the sake of it when they don't care about the answer, or just fill the conversation with talking about nothing.

However, I don't like being alone, because I don't enjoy being alone with my emptiness. I really don't like being without my boyfriend, which obviously causes problems. I mean, being alone for an hour or two now and then, sure, but otherwise no.

It's not that I don't like people, I think people are wonderful, it's just that I feel separate from them. This of course magnifies my emptiness, especially if it's a beautiful day and I'm spending it alone, or if all my housemates are hanging out and I'm in my room alone all night.

Also, I find that I am far too exhausted to spend time with others lately, I feel physically and mentally weak.

I have been a loner all my life, as a child I played alone, I spent my breaks in the library etc. I mean, I was bullied very badly at school, so I guess that could explain part of that, maybe it's just a habit now. People do seem to like me in general.

yes and no. depending heavily on the mood and situation.

deep down i am a loner and i also dislike small talk and always felt estranged. with age and responsibilities (recovery?) i have trained myself heavily to "learn" doing small talk. i need to do it for the sake of not appearing to weird among the people i must see (other parents, colleagues etc.). but is really a conscious effort and often the process drains me and takes a heavy toll on me. on the outside i can appear very very competent and even funny and charming even though i am almost always simply dissociating … i have developed an automatic pilot, so to speak. my real self is locked away and impenetrable. my facade can be almost perfect though.

if mood is up, things are easier. actually, if i am happy, i can be more than happy, elated would be the word. than i am super funny and active, although likely to be dissociated anyway. but than it is easier.

if mood is down, it can be very hard. so keeping up the facade becomes so tiring it usually makes me crash as it happen recently and had to take days off work and close myself away from it all.

left to my own devices, i am totally a loner, often pondering hermitage. my favorite place to be being the library (preferably empty) and the forest. when i am up in the mountains, i can go days without seeing anyone, without washing, without talking. and it is all right for me. i have my books, music. i have my never stopping mind.

people that see my bubbly competent facade would never imagine this, and it is good so.

on the other hand, i must say that this acquired social competence, although yes, it is a facade, has greatly improved my life overall and has unable me to have a family and a job. something unthinkable for me 10 years ago or so, when i was just plainly….weird. ok, it is a facade and i do come home and often drawn in my own dark despair but if i think it over, it fills me with some satisfaction if i have managed to get through the day decently and i am pleased with myself if i have managed to have a small talk with somebody and be "light" for a moment and so managed maybe to get some of the other kids to play with mine. i don't want them to pay the price of my quirks.

it fills me with some satisfaction if i manage this competence and see that i can progress in my working environment and if i manage to make some poor people laugh for a moment and forget their misery although inside, i am just cracking myself.

a loner yes, always. even among dozens of people, i am alone.

I'm in one of my loner periods at the moment.

For me, it is in cycles. I chat to people i used to work with but a lot of them, i struggled to maintain friendships with and drifted off. It's as if

I recharge by being alone. Its the only way for me. When around others, i use a lot of energy being social.

Nowadays, with the exception of family, people i'm forced to be in contact with and occasional chit chat with old colleagues, i'm a loner. Sometimes with these people, conversation can still be strained.

I sure am. In high school and in college, I was very much an extrovert. I only partied one year but I was always making new friends and putting myself out there. After college, I closed up a lot. Many friends were scattered throughout the state and it was just more of an incovenience to go out. Bills started coming in and money just runs out all the time. But I've found my friends pretty boring for the most part. If I am not in a relationship, I mainly keep to myself.


I love to chat with people. Whether its only or via text but hanging out? prefer not to. I get aggravated with people easily.