No friends

I've decided to do what I've thought best for a long time and cut all my ties with all my friends. One mass text to explain that I'm sick of being a burden and that I'm sick of only taking from my friendships. The only regret I have is that I like being social and having a good time, but it's not worth the $#%^ I give back.

People wouldn't deal with you if they didn't gain something from your friendship. We can be burdens, but we can also give back. We aren't our mental illness. We also have valuable qualities that make us worthwhile human beings to know.

Guilt and a sense of responsibility don't really go as far as you'd think. Most people aren't decent enough to stay in any kind of relationship with a person because they thought they had to.

Sending a message is going to come across as attention seeking.

If you really want to cut contact, just do it.

If you haven't yet done this and are just planning it, perhaps you could hold off for a day or two and think about whether this is really going to help? Your friends wouldn't be your friends if they didn't like and value you. You can work on your side of these relationships to try and be the better friend you want to be. Perhaps do less for awhile, but make those encounters with friends more mindful and really try? I have so few friends I know what it is like to be alone a lot, and if you're social it's going to be extra tough for you to be alone.

What you're planning sounds kind of like a test for your friends to respond and tell you you're wrong and give you some positive reinforcement. But of course I don't know anything about it and maybe you're a complete nightmare to deal with and they will be relieved. But then they're not your friends, are they? Why would they be if you're so awful? I just don't believe you can be that bad to make it worth potentially destroy these relationships.

You are a good person. Remember that. You deserve friends.

what helped me is being my own best friend. invest in yourself. either go to gym or learn some new hobby but trying giving myself the attention, I once seeked from others helped me a lot.

also friendship doesnt mean one has to talk all the time. it just means being there when needed and vice versa.

Yeah I've been accused of attention seeking, just ignored those people. I'm finding it pretty lonely but glad I did it, I'm sick of whining to my friends about my life.

Are those people real friends, or just.. "friends"? It makes a big difference.
Cutting ties with friends might be good for several reasons. Cutting off real friends warrants for a second thought.

So, you cut ties, but you're not really happy about it. You want to seem selfless... self - righteous...
Instead -

Ashlar wrote:Sending a message is going to come across as attention seeking.

What do people do when they hear "i'm not worthy of you. it's me, not you"? They counter that and say: "no, that is not true! you're great".
Are you subconsciously hoping for that? For valuation?

Caribee4me wrote:What you're planning sounds kind of like a test for your friends to respond and tell you you're wrong and give you some positive reinforcement.

You are a good person. Remember that. You deserve friends.

re: last line from above quote - I guess it worked on you
But Caribee4me gives some good thoughts.

MuddyWaters wrote:Yeah I've been accused of attention seeking, just ignored those people. I'm finding it pretty lonely but glad I did it, I'm sick of whining to my friends about my life.

This makes me think you think friends are just for listening to you whine? You know if you're sick of whining to your friends... you might want to start stopping the whining instead of cutting off your friends. Just an idea.

Caribee4me wrote:What you're planning sounds kind of like a test for your friends to respond and tell you you're wrong and give you some positive reinforcement.

Agreed. It's manipulative. They might respond positively initially, but some of them may come to resent you for it when they realise what's happened.

Ashlar wrote:Sending a message is going to come across as attention seeking.

Agreed again.

As EKO said, why not just stop whining?

Ok I don't "whine", bad choice of words. Forget it.

MuddyWaters wrote:Forget it.

So you quit, just like that? Instead of getting angsty, why don't you rephrase your question so we can understand your problem better?