Few Thoughts....

I think and see that most people suck extremely almost 75% of them and there is this gap between me and others who are of this level of depth and the idiots above graciously living lies and stupidities like it's the next world wonder.

"I AM AWARE.. that other people share similar opinions of the world but I would like some personal input".

I am sitting here almost mindfully blank which by far is probably the most bizarre trait of myself that I just don't understand what that is exactly like I'm writing this but part of my mind is separated from my serious mind and the correlation is non-accessible any attempts to gain entry causes seveer emotional disturbances internally that cause my eyes to slightly hurt ,cheeks to feel a bit painful and frequent attempts gives me a headache pretty quickly,etc.


Money is extremely difficult for me obtain due to lack of ability to function in a proper job due to major personality disorders as stated above and anxiety also find that working for someone else is something I refuse and will always refuse to do until the day I become non-self living an external environmental anatomy uses my resources to fuel itself, "basically not something I would like to do period" so don't bother trying , I'm independent and want to make something for myself like making multi-celluar level detailed sex toys thanks to smooth on's somewhat cheaper platinum silicones and I'm trying to do that but it's so hard when your parents is taking half your governmental earnings for stupid rent because there too cheap to go get proper jobs properly there mentally destroyed sibling even begs you for help and no one replies also I did manage to save up 400 + pounds which was almost enough to make a sex toy mind you but I ended up spending it all on very useful and positive to my progression books which I do not regret so that sucks another 5 months of my life to more waiting my 2nd biggest peeve all-time.

"please help me"


*mod edit*

It sounds like you could be diasociating right now. Your thoughts seem to be very all over the place.

I sense that this anger at the world stems from anger at your parents. Perhaps?

pm me


I think you are stressed out and it's manifesting in your body rather than mind. You have anxiety about your environment and your future which needs addressing.

I think you should do some cbt such as mindfulness and try change your environment to one you can be happy in.

I think your biggest issue is that you don't want to work for someone else even temporarily this needs addressing. Do you have npd or high levels of social agitation?

SBBro wrote:I think your biggest issue is that you don't want to work for someone else even temporarily this needs addressing. Do you have npd or high levels of social agitation?

This is exactly what stood out to me. It's very naive thinking. We all have to work for someone. Even jobs that most people would consider independent, like being a musician, actually involve working for other people. Self-employment is a fantasy that most people have when they're young, but eventually grow out of. I'm wondering what your motivation would be for refusing to work for someone.

I agree that you sound scattered and for someone with your language skills it's rare to see writing with so many run-on sentences. I hope you're alright. Perhaps now would be a good time to check in with your mental health provider.

I'm sorry but most of you have no clue what distorting reality to give more self independence is through buying a product from someone and using it to make stuff out of and selling on etsy or my own website which I'm capable of making by the way through my own self-taught techniques I can make money and through willpower , determination overlap self independence and able to access throughout.

For now it's a matter of waiting till I have 500 pounds to buy all the equipment or build it myself
"I can do that" <-- that is self independence all your words are derived from the governments needs to get everyone working for the economy which I will not be doing in any form because money is the most bizzare of biggest problems known to man which is not surprise since most things are bizzare to me like chimpanzees walking through water , spiders that look like ants and birds which look like droplets.

x_x_x_rose_x_x_x wrote:I'm sorry but most of you have no clue what self independence is through buying a product from someone and using it to make stuff out of and selling on etsy or my own website which I'm capable of making by the way through my own self-taught techniques I can make money it's a matter of waiting now till I have 500 pounds to buy all the equipment or build it myself "I can do that" <-- that is self independence all your words are derived from the governments needs to get everyone working for the economy which I will not be doing in any form because money is the most bizzare of biggest problems known to man which is not surprise since most things are bizzare to me like chimpanzees walking through water , spiders that look like ants and birds which look like droplets.

Wait, so money is a bizarre human problem to you, but you plan on doing work that is the basis for the capitalist system- the buying and selling of goods? The main way that money is exchanged?

People use etsy to make a few extra dollars on the side. I've never heard of an etsy business that provides a full income. Also, sex toys come in a variety of different materials and types - anything from glass to cyberskin. It's a huge industry and your idea is hardly novel.

Also selling good is not even truly independent. You have to depend on people who provide materials and the people you sell to. You are employed by your customer base. You work for them. And if you've ever worked a service job, you'd know that people are some of the worst "bosses" to deal with. I have a friend that is very skilled and sells his own handmade items to a very niche market. He is not doing well financially and has regretted his decision to be "self-employed". He has to do a lot of work with customers and deal with other people on a regular basis.

Also if you've somehow managed to find a way to work in talking about spiders that look like ants and birds that look like droplets, you're definitely in need of some mental health care.

I'm not going to stand here and prove my depth and expanse to your whimsical dynamics.

If you wanna excuse your way out of contributing to society in a healthy way then you might be better off on the aspd forums.

Otherwise keep a diary of your thoughts feelings and observations.

You need to find happiness. You might have ocd, aspd, schizotypal pd. But right now you are being avoidant of working things out within yourself.
Start with a diary, if you have no crazy beliefs of the world continue on to vipassana.

I know you're probably not going to take this well, but I think you should see a psychiatrist. You're difficult to understand, and you seem to have some other issues as well.
Also you need to replan your future. As others have explained, it's nearly impossible for you to make a living off of selling homemade sex toys on Etsy.
Please don't feel like I'm trying to attack you, I just want you to get help and not do anything drastic.

Most people won't ever admit they have a problem with their way of thinking and won't want to change. They would rather do endless circles until they get tired from middle age.