Do you have an "Inner Child"? [TW]

Hi there. I'm 18 years old, and I have BPD. I have had severe symptoms since around the age of 11. Like many people with BPD, my childhood was rife with abuse and neglect, and as a result of this I have developed what I've seen referred to online as an "Inner Child".
Throughout a 24 hour period, I'm usually stable, and quite detached from my emotions and relationships. I usually feel terribly depressed, but I'd describe it as stable as I don't make any attempt to hurt myself. In this mode, I can usually get through the day, and make it.
Sometimes, however, my mind reverts back to that of a child, and suddenly my thoughts, actions, and even speech patterns are childlike. During this period, I usually cry and cry and cry if I am alone, but if I'm with someone who I feel safe around I usually try to get affection and care from them. During this time I am also repulsed and generally upset by the idea of sex or violence, whereas usually I'm the one making all the inappropriate jokes and watching gory horror films. I also lose memory of around 90% of what happens when I am in this state, I either hear from other people how I suddenly acted differently, or I leave myself messages, which I don't remember writing. My childlike state doesn't have any memories from what I do now that I'm an adult, or older than their mental age, and my adult state does not know what I do when I switch into my childlike one.
I haven't been able to find many resources online or even people who experience this, is it even BPD or could it be something else?
Does anyone have any experience with this or any advice on what to do?
Thank you in advance.

Hey there. I don't think that symptom lines up with BPD. I have no real background in mental health and I obviously can't diagnose you, but that sounds a lot more like Dissociative Identity Disorder. Give this page a look and see if you relate at all:

http://www.nami.org/Content/NavigationM ... sorder.htm

Again I'm not a professional in any capacity. From what I know, people with DID also often have a history of abuse and it can be co-morbid with BPD. I can't give you any advice besides suggesting that you see a mental health professional to get a better opinion and treatment.

I really don't want it to be DID...it doesn't feel like it could be, but maybe that's just my fear talking. I looked through that page but I still don't feel as if my experiences exactly live up to those who suffer with DID. I don't know, it may be that, I'm just very scared at the possibility.
Thank you very much for your reply
Does anyone else have any experience with this/know if it does sound like DID possibly?

Have you checked out the DID forum yet? Maybe something might resonate for you there.

dissociative-identity/

I also agree with seeing a mental health professional though if you can.

Go see a professional to get a more educated opinion.

You may also be better off posting on the DID board. While it can be co-morbid with BPD, it's not exactly common.

Thank you, I'm going to make a post there now, thank you both