feeling very suicidal *tw*

Feeling very suicidal because I'm completely empty.

Not on meds. What to do?

Hi Martijn,

Thinking of you and sending some some to you via this email. Can you can samaritans or speak to a friend? Please don't do anything rash. I have felt like this way often and I promise it does pass.
Have you been drinking? Are you in therapy? I don't know the answer but I know this is not it and you are not alone.

xxx

whenever i have such thoughts(and they are very often), i try to think that there is a small possibility that things will get better.

i didnt ask for depression/bpd/emptiness. my abusers gave this to me. i didnt deserve them, so i also dont deserve death.

a bleak hope, i harbor that things may get better. take care

Thanks

Are there people who's emptiness can be triggered by stress?

Yes, for me stress is the number one cause of depression, anxiety and even mania. I realized this a few years ago and have planned my life to minimize my stress accordingly but sometimes it still sneaks up and bites me in the arse.

I hope you fell better soon.

Hmmm okay. And for the bpd people?

this can be out of discussion for emptiness but

stress by itself isnt always bad. its what you do with it that counts.

for example...if i'm having a headache and go to doc, he gives some pills. but after 3 days the headache doesnt reduces, i wont say, 'no issue, the pills take time to work and relax.' i will be worried and either go back to doctor or consult other doctor.

had i not worried about my healthy, i wouldnt have gone to other doctor.

or if you're company has decided to fire a few workers and you know you can be on list. you will be worried and then try to work harder, be more involved with the clients. its stress that caused you. you wouldnt sit back on chair and say, 'what will happen, happen. its destiny that will decide my stay.'

stress often causes the impetus to work ahead. its what we stress over that matters...stressing over past events is a waste of mental energy and unhealthy for mind, or stress over results are also waste of energy.

but one must worry at times...like if i'm solving a math problem in exam and if i'm unable to solve then i wont sit back, i'd stress about it and at least try before giving up.

acknowledge the stress and then release it.

Well, I never was really bored or complete empty. Life had meaning I guess. Laughed alot, had fun with friends, played lots of videogames ( sometimes for hours and hours) enjoyed tv series, the last times I noticed the emptiness and boredom was after extreme periodes of stress which seemed to triggered something (extreme panick). This happened three times and both then, imidetely I couldnt enjoy myself and suddenly life was hell, didn't find the things funny I found funny before. Couldnt sleep and started to drink huge amounts of alcohol.

Both 3 events had a huge impact on my body (trauma?)

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news ... esearchers