I'm new and I have a lot of FEELINGS and questions

Hi. I've just been diagnosed and I don't really know how to feel. I've been seeing the same therapist off and on since I was 15 (it's been 11 years). During a google search of some phrases she recommended I look into (black and white thinking) I stumbled on BPD. I googled my heart out and couldn't believe how much I could relate to everything I was reading. I brought it up during the next session and she told me that she has been treating me for these symptoms since I was 16 but never wanted to diagnose me for fear that the label would only make things worse for me. I feel like now my whole life makes sense to me and what was really behind all the terrible, TERRIBLE decisions I've made. So... Obviously I feel super betrayed. I've known this woman for so long and have been struggling for so long with being given the wrong diagnosis and the wrong medication. Why didn't she tell me?! I'm doubting my feelings because I don't know if they're justified. Ugh. I feel crazy. I would love to hear some other people's stories.

Hi, I have the same problem. In fact, I still don't have an official BPD diagnosis, even after telling the doctors I think I have BPD !

I see some valid (though not justifiable, from my perspective) reasons for doctors hiding that diagnosis from us:

1 - This is a HUGE reason. Most insurance companies do not regard personality disorders (including BPD) as treatable conditions, although that attitude seems to be changing. Hence, if your doc says "Hey, my patient has BPD, and I want to start him on a DBT program", they will simply refuse to pay for your treatment. Hence, your doc doesn't get his money.

2 - The stigma associated with personality disorders. People including your own family, (mostly nons) just cannot understand how serious personality disorders are, and simply label us as psychos or weirdos or whatever. They understand things like "depression" and "anxiety", but would probably be scared out of their minds if you told them you had a personality disorder. Hence, your doctor may, for your own sake, not diagnose you with BPD, to "protect" you from mistreatment/misjudgment by others. I see this as a valid, though not justifiable (and not fair to the patient), reason.

Hope this helps. Let me know if you have other questions.

Hi, i can relate in the sense i was given the wrong diagnosis! For over a decade! I dont even know if to laugh or to cry because it blocked my true recovery a whole lot. I feel for you...question: do you feel this therapist is good at treating your BPD symptoms (even if you were undiagnosed?)