Sometimes I don't mind the emptiness...

Martijn wrote:So you can switch between feeling things and feeling nothing?

AmorousDestruction wrote:i reach a certain point where my mind can't take the stress of my emotions and I just shut down.

Pretty much this. Dissociation can be a good thing at times.

In my case, dissociation can be both good and bad. Good when the anxiety is so much I just shut down and can't feel anything, not even the pain. Bad when I feel completely out of the world and when I'm around people (even close friends) I feel like I'm doing things aitomatically and without a purpose, almost like a robot, or like I'm just...completely out.

I have to say this because this bothers me so much. But I don't see how anyone can say that they don't mind the emptiness.

For me it's like this big blackhole. It's an insatiable blackhole that nobody can ever fill. It craves love and attention and it is never enough to fill it.

I don't know who I am as a person. I feel like I have no identity apart from others. I sort of feel like, as another member once put it, that if you peel away all of the layers there is just nothing left underneath. There is no core. That core is the emptiness where there should be a person. Should be a self.

So no. I hate the emptiness, the deadness, the numbness. I don't see how anyone can NOT mind it.

And the funny thing is. The username I chose to sign up with here has turned out to be such a f*cking understatement that it's not even funny.
Just when I start to think the universe doesn't have a sense of humor, I get slapped with reality again.

Sorry just stoned and rambling.

blank identity wrote:For me it's like this big blackhole. It's an insatiable blackhole that nobody can ever fill. It craves love and attention and it is never enough to fill it.

That.

I agree that emptiness is bad. When I feel very empty inside I tend to be self-destructive, which is bad.
Dissociation is a bit different.