Trust

Probably asking the impossible but is there any way at all people with BPD can learn to trust. Im fed up of hurting the person I care about. Its just not fair. I hate this DX and just want to be able to function and not hurt so much.
And also is there a way to not feel so empty and scared about people abandoning me?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

It is possible for people with BPD to learn to trust. Well, I assume it is, as I can't say I've made it there completely myself. But it takes a lot of work and to be honest there is probably not a single answer on how best to achieve it. You have to discover the way that works best for you. My suggestions are just based on some of the advice I've had to date, so take from it anything that might help.

When I am scared that the person I care about will leave me: Have they ever given me a reason to think they will leave? Or is the fear being carried over from somewhere else?

When I have trouble trusting what that person says: Have they lied to me in the past and given me reason to doubt whether they can be trusted?

Then I suppose trying to think about the situation from their point of view. That if I make unjustified accusations I might be hurting them. Thinking about it from the perspective that if I am hurting them (and I really care about them) that I am ultimately hurting myself in the process.

This is assuming that the person hasn't given me reason to lack trust. But I find asking myself these things helps sometimes. Definitely not all times. When you are swept up in the emotion, it can be impossible to do that. As the saying goes, you can't reason with emotion. In those situations sometimes all you can do is try to take a step back. Create some distance from your thoughts in the hope of finding a bit more clarity.

Are you seeking out any kind of assistance at the moment? Medication and/or therapy? Therapy might help with understanding the patterns to your thinking and possibly the issues in the past that have made it difficult to trust people now. That and methods that are more specific to you in your relationships.

I find that learning to trust myself is harder than learning to trust others, though they are equally difficult. I too try asking myself questions to get myself into a more rational mind set vs swirling around in emotion mind and worrying about all these trust type things. While those doubts still creep in, it does become easier to talk myself out of them, if that helps any?