Break-up... (Trigger Warning)

Thank you so much for your support, guys.

I did a stupid thing earlier that got good results; I went looking for him at some of our old hang outs. I found him. We talked. He apologized for how he went about things and told me that he only wants a break from us living together, not to break up completely. He thinks some time living separately will strengthen our relationship and I agree... 50%. He's home with me now and we're gonna finish discussing our terms in the morning.

That's great news. I'm glad you two are working it out. <3

I just hope nothing like this happens again. I'm STILL falling apart every few minutes, and I should be happy.

Decided to go ahead and have a little bit of unprotected sex... proof that I'm the smartest person in the world.

He said he hasn't eaten or slept since he last saw me. So he's nappin' now and I hope this day lasts forever so tomorrow doesn't come...

I know your situation is not the same cause we are all different, but i had this exact thing happening to me in a relationship once. Down to the leaving and i went search for him and he came back.
He told me he left because he couldn't put up with my behavior any longer. I was 20 back then or so, if i remember correctly. I was pretty unaware, so i didnt even really understand what ive been doing wrong.

He was not perfect either. Looking back on it, the relationship was very co-dependent. Well, long story short, he didn't ''abandon'' me like that again, but i couldn't trust him anymore that he wouldn't and things just weren't the same anymore after a while.

Maybe you can learn from my situation and make better choices. There are probably things you both have to solve like adults, but i would advise you to talk to him eventually about it when you both are not very emotional. I didn't, out of fear he will leave again.

He left because how he's been reacting to things lately is frightening him. He's afraid of the damage he might do if he sticks around, but doesn't want to move out, so he's extremely confused right now (I'm trying not to make it worse). It's gonna be a while before I can trust him like I did again, though. He says he would never leave without warning me again, but... words are words. We'll see.

So now our final plan is to take the break; we decided what day it would start, how long it would last and... "visitation". Since it was his idea, the ultimate choice is up to him. I reminded him not to be shy if he changes his mind about the arrangement.

It seemed to make him feel better when I told him I trust him, and have other ideas, but his brain is on overload (I know the sh*t out of that feeling...) and we're gonna try one thing at a time. No rush. Knowing that he's doing this for both of our sake and not all on his lonesome makes me feel as secure as I need.

While I know that this physical separation will be difficult, I hope you do find it helpful. I was super worried about you when I read your first post as I know you recently posted about how much you cared for him. I'm really glad to hear that it's just a moving out. I hope that the trust rebuilds slowly but surely.

Thanks, Cheze2.

Quick update: In this time we're spending together before our break, I'm trying really hard to resist trying to "seduce" him into changing his mind about us taking it. Every time I've felt myself ready to say or do something to manipulate him in that way, I've kept it to myself and I'll continue to do so.

But honestly, I have magnificent swag and I'm an excellent girlfriend with a nice tight *****. So even just acting naturally, I can't always help being awesome. So. If he changes his mind on his own, that's not my responsibility. I can't control the fact that I'm epic.

Havoctoria wrote:But honestly, I have magnificent swag and I'm an excellent girlfriend with a nice tight *****. So even just acting naturally, I can't always help being awesome.

Keep being awesome, Havoc.