I love someone with BPD.

I met a guy and the very next day he wrote a long letter telling me how much he is in love with me, well he sent it to my friend because he didn't want me to read it. He is very clingy and I honestly like it because I'm also BPD and I can relate to him, thats almost how I am. I think he can be very loving if we dated. He is so loving and empathetic and attractive.

I never read anything on how two Borderlines function in a relationship; what happens?

I mean I'm pretty sure he is: self destructive, abused and neglected, homeless, self harms, and clingy.

Welcome to the forum.

Somebody just made a thread about this the other day...

borderline-personality/topic142135.html

It can work out but can also be a trainwreck. It depends how self-aware the two people are and how much they are willing to take responsibility for their own perceptions and behaviors, willing to be empathetic and understanding toward each other, etc.

I wish you both the best.

Keep us updated on how it works out.

borderlines can be confusing. we feel extreme emotions...

one moment we're clingy and then we're ice man, super cool, i dont give a damn, out of my life, i dont need anyone, i'm the best and then we're crying and clingy, awww! type folks

two borderlines will make one relationship...when you both are high, you'll make great memories...

but be safe...cut down on alcohol, driving n stuff...when bpd's get high...things can go pretty dangerous for everyone

jaus tail wrote:borderlines can be confusing. we feel extreme emotions...

one moment we're clingy and then we're ice man, super cool, i dont give a damn, out of my life, i dont need anyone, i'm the best and then we're crying and clingy, awww! type folks

two borderlines will make one relationship...when you both are high, you'll make great memories...

but be safe...cut down on alcohol, driving n stuff...when bpd's get high...things can go pretty dangerous for everyone

Good bit of advice jaus tail

relationship has all the potential to become an unforgettable experience Maybe it would be good to know your age.

if "youngish" I would not miss such a tasty opportunity. BPD illness hides some treats for us. Ecstasy belongs to us, us alone. We are the only one who can savor it completely. Ok, the despair afterwards is bad. but hey … one day as a lion kind of stuff

I am an old and battered, scarred BPD. I feel ancient at times in 36 years old body with my teenager heart.

I have hated BPD for a while. I have done everything to keep it down.

I live with a "normal" guy. He loves me (poor him). He loves me thanks to the wonders of BPD during the first couple if years. They were so good that he would long for them to be back because NO NORMAL GIRL can build such a real dream within the senseless grey of existence.

but as jays say … now i am ice cold for him. because sometimes (always) we are described as the BAD ones of the situation. we are the trouble makers, the crazies, the weirdos. BUT do the normal think how much energy they drain from our heights?

His rational straight normality cannot touch my sores. In my icicle I melt down in streams of blood that poor out inside me. He doesn't want (cannot) see the darkness. The void. He cannot (doesn't want to?) soothe my open bruise. It would take such little effort and I would be HIS again.

But I have closed up. alone, while we are together and I need to pretend to be "normal" superficially living. Interested in the small everyday things.

Ok. It functions. But am I really, are we BPD always to blame? for bringing colors? life and roller coasters? most of normals enjoy the ride BIG time but when the downer times come off they go … "you think too much????"

Moral. Go for it if you can, if you are young, if you are old, if you feel it. Because I am sick of having to hide and say sorry. always.

It is not easy. stability has some advantages. BUT. I have met a broken, manic depressive man. and my heart and mind race. his battered body, his eyes. the languor of his pain melts with mine. is there a future? NO. and so?

yesterday a perfect couple went on a perfect holiday with their perfect daughter. Two hours later the mother died. perfectly and unexpected. is this perfect?

sorry for the rambling.

somewhere I have decided.

My ex husband is BPD (at least I'm sure he is based on his behavior and what I know about the disorder since being diagnosed with it myself)

It was absolutely chaotic, our highs and lows didn't always allign. our fights were scary and highly dramatic- to the point where our neighbors called the police on us several times. Neither of us drank alcohol/did drugs during our relationship.....sadly neither of us was very self aware either.

I would proceed with extreme caution if you decide to get involved with this guy. My ex and I were both already quite damaged when we met each other and really by the end we just made our conditions worse