3 more questions

1. Do repeated interactions with other people seem or feel extremely unsafe to BPDers? (e.g. coworkers, people you have to see routinely, etc.) to the point where you feel a panic or an urge to quit jobs or move to a new town?

2. Is there such a thing as 'mental self-injury' where you have the urge or compulsion to think of terrible things, get a pit in your stomach or a fright (kind of like intrusive thoughts) ... and perhaps feeling strangely more safe or secure afterwards?

3. Do ruminations and anger feelings come in recurring waves? Just when you think they've gone, they surge again?

Thank you!

1. Do repeated interactions with other people seem or feel extremely unsafe to BPDers? (e.g. coworkers, people you have to see routinely, etc.) to the point where you feel a panic or an urge to quit jobs or move to a new town?


I am not sure if it is repeated interactions per se but over time, I feel like either I cannot stand to be near the people I work with/have befriended and/or I think they cannot stand me .. splitting is inevitable .. and yes, I skip towns and states to avoid this - have walked out of careers (not just jobs), houses, lifes ...

2. Is there such a thing as 'mental self-injury' where you have the urge or compulsion to think of terrible things, get a pit in your stomach or a fright (kind of like intrusive thoughts) ... and perhaps feeling strangely more safe or secure afterwards?

No.

3. Do ruminations and anger feelings come in recurring waves? Just when you think they've gone, they surge again?


No - rumination is constant, my mind never, EVER stops.

1. I don't know if it's the BPD, the AvPD, or just me, but I try not to let people get too close to me. I have walked away from jobs and people (permanently) because of it.
2. I don't know if it has that name or not, but it's a pretty common occurrence, regardless. I'm used to thinking bad things as SOP.
3. It's the opposite - it's the happy times that come in waves. The negative thoughts/feelings are always there, and I fully expect that the happy times will leave soon enough. Again, it's just something I'm used to.

JohnnyBlaze wrote:It's the opposite - it's the happy times that come in waves. The negative thoughts/feelings are always there, and I fully expect that the happy times will leave soon enough. Again, it's just something I'm used to.

Absolutely.

roaf wrote:Do repeated interactions with other people seem or feel extremely unsafe to BPDers? (e.g. coworkers, people you have to see routinely, etc.) to the point where you feel a panic or an urge to quit jobs or move to a new town?

With a relationship I can feel this way. I usually keep my coworkers at a distance anyways. I'm not sure if it's BPD related however. It's not really repeated interactions, it's more of how close the relationship can get and fearing what that means and fearing the abandonment that can come with it.

roaf wrote:2. Is there such a thing as 'mental self-injury' where you have the urge or compulsion to think of terrible things, get a pit in your stomach or a fright (kind of like intrusive thoughts) ... and perhaps feeling strangely more safe or secure afterwards?

I don't experience this.

roaf wrote:1. Do repeated interactions with other people seem or feel extremely unsafe to BPDers? (e.g. coworkers, people you have to see routinely, etc.) to the point where you feel a panic or an urge to quit jobs or move to a new town?

I don't think so for me, but that has to do with me placing little value in people and just not caring in general.

2. Is there such a thing as 'mental self-injury' where you have the urge or compulsion to think of terrible things, get a pit in your stomach or a fright (kind of like intrusive thoughts) ... and perhaps feeling strangely more safe or secure afterwards?

I have intrusive thoughts, but not sure how they'd relate to this question.

3. Do ruminations and anger feelings come in recurring waves? Just when you think they've gone, they surge again?

The anger is always there, but I'm often not in touch with it because it's not stimulated. It's when it's stimulated, it intensifies so in that sense it feels like recurring waves.

1. Do repeated interactions with other people seem or feel extremely unsafe to BPDers? (e.g. coworkers, people you have to see routinely, etc.) to the point where you feel a panic or an urge to quit jobs or move to a new town?

Absolutely, positively, painfully, yes. I am pretty "straight" on the outside now so I normally (now) do not "reveal" myself to people easily. If it happens that I get close, than danger is there, I feel I have no boundaries. It is like a dike is collapsing and out of the fortress comes out in waves all the intensity. In the past yes. I have moved countries, houses, dumped jobs, friendships, everything. Now I manage a bit more my impulses but right now it is difficult. I have met somebody that is getting closer and for me is like going from 0 to 100 in less than a second. Fear to scare off the person. Fear that the chaos will break out loose.

2. Is there such a thing as 'mental self-injury' where you have the urge or compulsion to think of terrible things, get a pit in your stomach or a fright (kind of like intrusive thoughts) ... and perhaps feeling strangely more safe or secure afterwards?

no. But maybe this could help me out of the current obsession

3. Do ruminations and anger feelings come in recurring waves? Just when you think they've gone, they surge again?

kind of. Not really anger feelings. But feelings in general have the power to overthrow my mind. Where is my mind? thoughts always racing. a torture

roaf wrote:1. Do repeated interactions with other people seem or feel extremely unsafe to BPDers? (e.g. coworkers, people you have to see routinely, etc.) to the point where you feel a panic or an urge to quit jobs or move to a new town?

Yes. I'm always on the move, switching jobs, towns, schools, relationships, etc. I've even gone so far as to leave the country on several occasions. I can't STAND to interact with the same people for longer than a few years. They begin to trigger me too much. I start to feel so exposed and vulnerable, I feel like they are keeping tabs on every mistake I've ever made, judging me, criticizing me. It makes me feel vulnerable and I get an unbearable compulsion to escape.

[/quote]

2. Is there such a thing as 'mental self-injury' where you have the urge or compulsion to think of terrible things, get a pit in your stomach or a fright (kind of like intrusive thoughts) ... and perhaps feeling strangely more safe or secure afterwards?[/quote]

Not that I have experienced.

[/quote]

3. Do ruminations and anger feelings come in recurring waves? Just when you think they've gone, they surge again?

Thank you![/quote]

Yes. Sometimes I can feel pretty stable and suddenly out of nowhere I get intrusive thoughts, angry feelings, etc.