Three Weeks into Therapy (and...)

First off, I'd like to say hi. I've been away for some time, I've been working a lot and weird hours, and I haven't made much of an effort to check in although I should be lending some support back to this community.

Some odd things after some assessment and orientation with the clinic:

1) My therapist doesn't believe I really qualify for "BPD" in terms of having a problematic disorder. I kinda wanted to be like "Well, why the ###$ am I paying you so much" hahaha. But the reality of it is she and I both know I have traits, and I have other issues to deal with.

(I mean, but really, kinda glad I'm not labelled as BPD, even I stigmatize myself)

2) It's crazy if you're open, which I'm a very open guy (I'm well-spoken and I feel that lends itself well to self-expression if you can get at it) how much $#%^ comes out. In the three hours, it's clear how neuroticism and anxiety have significantly impacted my quality of life. How much I'm unsure about what I even want from life, what I want for myself, and that it'll be impossible to find fulfillment and set goals for myself in the absence of that.

But now, I'm about to start into DBT and kinda... I'm worried I'll leave with the same mindset as before, but also worried and fearful to change since... well, overthinking and having way too much going on in my head is how I've always been and I'm kinda unsure of what the alternative is.

What should I make of all of this?

Hey You!
You dont pay to get a label, but to get help. To settle your thoughts, clear up the buzz and all that.
Change is always scary, but it's coming, small steps at the time.
Go for the DBT!

Same here. My psychologist has said that "it's not exactly a disorder" but "more of a personal problem" or something along those lines. I think what he was referring to was the fact that I inflict minimal damage "outwards". Almost everything is drawn "inwards" to myself, instead of "outwards", which can be seen in how I've isolated myself. I don't have an avoidant personality disorder either, but it could easily be confused as such. My doctor, when she read the letter from my psychologist, has on the other hand just stamped "emotionally unstable personality disorder" on it, with a secondary diagnosis "social anxiety".

Like WendyTorrance said, it's not really about the label. I'm used to not fitting any label anyway. Heck, according to society I don't even fit the "manly" label. I say they can go f*** themselves.