Help with Impulsive Behaviors

I've been acting up lately in some self destructive ways. Promiscuity and substance abuse. How can I get these things under control? What helps?

I was told that meds help with that a bit, although it seems like you've already tried the chemical route. Maybe ask your pdoc about it if you haven't already.

I think figuring out why you impulsively engage in certain behaviors helps a lot. Figuring out the meaning and what you get out of them can give you an opportunity to find that elsewhere. I've been incredibly promiscuous and I know that I often do it to get out of my own head. Because I always have safe sex and the sexual encounters I have aren't putting me in any real danger, I'm less concerned with the behavior than what's triggering it and I don't mind engaging in sexual activity if I know I'm not using it as a coping mechanism.

But while my sexual behavior is impulsive, it isn't compulsive, which is kind of another story. Substance abuse is also a lot more complicated. Sometimes, while people with mental illness are more prone to addictive behaviors, the addiction we have is outside of our mental illness and we have to seek help the same way that neurotypical people do. Looking into NA/CA (depending on your drug of choice) or SAA might not be a bad idea if you feel your behavior is compulsive and struggle with control.

thanks so much for writing. I'm too down to write anything of real importance. But I wanted to say I appreciate it

Son wrote:thanks so much for writing. I'm too down to write anything of real importance. But I wanted to say I appreciate it

Any time. I wish I had more/better advice. Feel better!

<3 <3 <3

Writing down the behaviors helped me a lot.

I used to say, 'Go for the behavior. Go for it, enjoy life. Go ahead with the act. enjoy your youth.'

What helps me is seeing the act as healthy or unhealthy. The act maybe 'fun' but its unhealthy.

Driving at super high speeds sounds fun but can cause an accident. A horrible one. Having sex is 'fun' for the body and 'cool' but it can result in stds, the person maybe a gang/mafia. he may make a video out of it.

strangers...stay away from them when thinking about sex.

also i see it as 'would i be ok if my kid does it?' would i be ok if my kid goes around sleeping with me? i am being judgemental. i'm not saying it's bad, but would i want my kid to suffer and feel guilty.

thinking the act as healthy/unhealthy and thinking it from a parent's point of view helps me a lot.

Son wrote:I've been acting up lately in some self destructive ways. Promiscuity and substance abuse. How can I get these things under control? What helps?

It may be different for you, but I know I tend to engage in self destructive, impulsive behavior as a form of self harm, when I am triggered and I need a distraction from uncomfortable feelings and thoughts.

One of the hardest things to do is to sit through the uncomfortable feelings and thoughts and let them run their course, without trying to escape from them. This is what my therapist used to tell me over and over again. Basically, she wanted me to find ways to self-soothe and regulate my feelings in constructive ways. She used to tell me to journal. I didn't like journaling, but for me, exercising, taking a long walk, painting a painting, taking a bubble bath, etc., are all healthy ways I can regulate my emotions. Maybe some of these will work for you too?

I hope this helps.

justagirl00 wrote: It may be different for you, but I know I tend to engage in self destructive, impulsive behavior as a form of self harm, when I am triggered and I need a distraction from uncomfortable feelings and thoughts.

No I think you're on point and that I also engage in these things as self harm, or as I usually describe it, self destruction.

I have been taking care of myself for the past week because i have been so depressed and remorseful but I know my relationship is hurting because of it.

I'll try some of the things you recommend. I know they would be good for me but I have so little energy or motivation right now.

Saw my Dr and she said I'm still coming down from using, that I have been drinking too much, and my generic anti-depressant that I switched to from brand 2 months ago is probably not working so well.

Should clear up in a week or so.