2 Borderlines fall in love

I think it sounds exciting.

Its not that uncommon. Its happened to me at least once. It was a trainwreck though.

We were together nonstop. He was very clingy, could not stand to be alone at all. This didn't bother me because I was the same way. When we were not physically together we would call or text nonstop. We both liked the constant contact. He was extremely jealous and paranoid though. He would accuse me of looking at other men all the time, or even of looking at celebrities too much when we watched a movie. He hacked into my email all the time. He was physically and emotionally abusive. He idealized me then devalued me, back and forth all the time. I think he was more severely disordered than I am, or maybe I just triggered him.

The relationship ended up lasting 5 years mostly because he would not let go. He still secretly contacts me about once a month or so even though he has a serious long term girlfriend. I don't know if their relationship is more healthy than ours but it seems to me. Maybe she is a Non and she makes him feel more secure. He always accused me of making him feel insecure. I don't know what I did to make him feel that way. To me it seemed like it was all in his head.

The relationship would never have worked out. It was a trainwreck, like I said. He hit me and at times I feared for my life. I got to where I was afraid to be alone with him, because he would interrogate me and lose control over himself and get physically aggressive if I did not answer him or give him an answer he wanted. He would ask me questions like about the penis size of my past boyfriends or if I had been in any contact at all with any other man recently. Questions that were impossible to answer and that there were no correct answers to. It was a nightmare. I'm pretty sure he was BPD with strong NPD traits.

I'm sure I contributed to the problems. I did keep in contact with other men. I needed the security of knowing I had someone else to fall back on. At that time I could not be alone so I guess I did encourage the attention of other men and I think that is what triggered him so much. His fears of abandonment were very strong. We did have a great sex life though, very passionate sex and a strong physical attraction.

Depends on the severity of the person's problems. BPD isn't just a generalized thing. My ex-girlfriend issues manifested in much different ways from my own. She was a bit emotionally sadistic and narcissistic, whereas I was the opposite. And no matter how much we tried to talk things over and work things out we just kept triggering each other again and again. I can't even begin to explain.

Yes, BPD on BPD sex needs an ahegao warning label.

justagirl00 wrote:Its not that uncommon. Its happened to me at least once. It was a trainwreck though.

We were together nonstop. He was very clingy, could not stand to be alone at all. This didn't bother me because I was the same way. When we were not physically together we would call or text nonstop. We both liked the constant contact. He was extremely jealous and paranoid though. He would accuse me of looking at other men all the time, or even of looking at celebrities too much when we watched a movie. He hacked into my email all the time. He was physically and emotionally abusive. He idealized me then devalued me, back and forth all the time. I think he was more severely disordered than I am, or maybe I just triggered him.

The relationship ended up lasting 5 years mostly because he would not let go. He still secretly contacts me about once a month or so even though he has a serious long term girlfriend. I don't know if their relationship is more healthy than ours but it seems to me. Maybe she is a Non and she makes him feel more secure. He always accused me of making him feel insecure. I don't know what I did to make him feel that way. To me it seemed like it was all in his head.

The relationship would never have worked out. It was a trainwreck, like I said. He hit me and at times I feared for my life. I got to where I was afraid to be alone with him, because he would interrogate me and lose control over himself and get physically aggressive if I did not answer him or give him an answer he wanted. He would ask me questions like about the penis size of my past boyfriends or if I had been in any contact at all with any other man recently. Questions that were impossible to answer and that there were no correct answers to. It was a nightmare. I'm pretty sure he was BPD with strong NPD traits.

I'm sure I contributed to the problems. I did keep in contact with other men. I needed the security of knowing I had someone else to fall back on. At that time I could not be alone so I guess I did encourage the attention of other men and I think that is what triggered him so much. His fears of abandonment were very strong. We did have a great sex life though, very passionate sex and a strong physical attraction.

That sounds like my current relationship but tbh, I don´t mind it. I don´t talk to other men at all (I´m antisocial to the extreme), I hate going out and I don´t mind abuse. Our biggest issue is that I´m a model and pretty so he gets really pissed off and starts fights with random guys when they look at me. I´m an ASPD/BPD hybrid and can outsmart him and calm him down most of the time though (unless I´m the one losing my sh!t). Unfortunately, I´m also 6 inches shorter, 8 years younger and 70 lb lighter than he is so he can easily overpower me. The sex life is definitely great though

All hell breaks lose! But it can work. Though very hard and emotionally gut wrenching at times. But if you have a willingness to wirk on it and your parner does too and work each on your own selves and take personal space time and set boundaries those are very important in turning the relationship around. Then less conflict occurs and communication improves as long as you are honest about your feelings and what you see hear abd go through so they get your processes stuff to understand you that is the biggest breakthrough in a relationship like this. Mine has been 9 years thus far. Very difficult draining then loving good and super sex charged most of the time w good sex of course

Depends. Every borderliner is different. And both of you sharing the same emotional difficulties doesn't mean you are compatible. I am in love with a girl who suffers from this and I exhibit lots of traits myself and it can be really difficult. It's going to be intense, unstable and it will require a hell amount of work. I think both parties should be in therapy for this to actually work out.

You have figure out for yourself whether or not you can handle the stress. You have to fully commit yourself to this. Your partner has to ask herself/himself the same question. If you already have lots of issues and this turns out to be another source of great distress for both of you, you might end up completely devastated.

I agree that it might work if both are in therapy, and having couples sessions once in awhile could also help.