Don't know where to start...

Hi everyone
I'm new here so please bear with me
I'm 26 years old and only got diagnosed with BPD a few weeks ago after years of hell.. Also got diagnosed with anxiety disorder..
So..
My boyfriends cousin is coming round later for a drink and a chin wag, except I'm REALLY nervous/anxious, my boyfriends at work and the kids are out with my mum so il be alone..
I have a massive social phobia and can't keep my mind from going over every possible conversation we could have.. Wondering if shel know I'm uncomfortable in the situation.. Everything I say I will over Analize and wonder how it was taken and how it came across.. I have to let her come round she's practically family and I've met her quite a few times but my boyfriends always been there.. Not only that I want her to come too.. I need to try and get over this.. I'm frantically cleaning at the minute as I can't have people round without a spotless home either.. Arghh!! Am I being silly or can anyone relate? I feel like a child preparing for my first day at school...

Am I being silly or can anyone relate? I feel like a child preparing for my first day at school...

^ you're definitely not being silly.. just trying to face a new situation..


I can really relate(hence why i popped into the forum - not my usual haunt) and just wanted to say please remember that she's coming over because she likes you and wants to spend time with you..

as for the spotless home thing = i really struggle with that but if someone turns up without an invite i only panic for the first five minutes and so many people have told me to relax..


try and leave one or two things lying around instead of making everywhere entirely tidy - just remember that most peoples houses will have a toilet roll tube lying on the bathroom floor or a pair of socks on the window sill somewhere..

Also, just remember that she'll most likely be nervous as well; have you got any games that you can play together to give you something to focus on? perhaps you could go for a walk/go get something from the shop if you need something to focus on..

i am always puzzled by those little cardboard tubes on the floor! are they too heavy to pick up?

really though, throw stuff in the cupboard, closet, what ever, and make the things that show your focus, and clean with good tunes on. try and see that you did a good job, and as for the talking bit, maybe just let her do most of it if possible,and try and focus on enjoying her company. maybe you can even take a walk outside for part of the time, as things outside might spark conversation, plus the walking gets out the frazzly feelings. or have a walk before she comes by?