how to reignite the fire within you

Lightening wrote:Surely the fire is about creating peace and plenty for yourself and others. Righting the wrongs and making yourself and others good people, and happy people. Speaking out and correcting the wrongs, and encouraging the rights and implementing them. A force of change for the better, as long as we are breathing, we always have the opportunity for amazing acts.

I know what you mean with this, but it sounds like a bunch of words with not much substance to it. My entire life right now exists solely for the sake of others. I stay in it for my son, nothing else. I do a job that I hate because we need money to provide for the family. I'm tired of trying to make myself and others good people.

Lightening wrote:To me, it's about the business of doing, no amount of theorizing, worrying, anxiety, and understanding alone ever changed anything. Doing, and doing it well, is its own bliss.

This is the equivalent of anyone who says to me "stop overthinking it" whenever you say you are unhappy. I don't sit at home all the time thinking "why am I so miserable?" I can do everything. Sports, social activities, studying, work, playing at the park with my kid, family stuff. There is minimal "bliss". It's just another bunch of activities that fill in time and distract, but provide nothing fulfilling.

Sorry, I just hate being told things along the lines of "stop thinking and start doing". You can do everything and sometimes it just doesn't help.

We must live for ourselves. Do acts that please us, stand up for ourselves. dont do things just cause someone says, 'oh it's so cool.' do it cause you want to try it.

i dont live for anyone now, but myself. we must not feel sorry for others nor try to bully others.

i think of life like a video game. the best video game was the one that wasnt too tough to complete nor was it too easy. thats how friends must be, nor must i be the baby of the group, nor the bully.

jaus tail wrote: we must not feel sorry for others....

I think that it isn't so much feeling sorry for others, but a desire to help others...

I spend time in the bpd forum but that's not cause i want to help others, i just give advice cause i feel like i connect with people. i dont spend time in other sub forums.

i've realized that it's nice to help others but one mustn't use it cause one is unable to be happy and live his/her own life.

social work should not be an excuse cause one is unable to live his/her own life.

jaus tail wrote:I spend time in the bpd forum but that's not cause i want to help others, i just give advice cause i feel like i connect with people. i dont spend time in other sub forums.

i've realized that it's nice to help others but one mustn't use it cause one is unable to be happy and live his/her own life.

social work should not be an excuse cause one is unable to live his/her own life.

I had never thought of it that way. And that is one way to look at it.....but I was only trying to say that happiness is a by-product of helping others...

I'd really like to know how... I used to think it was success, I was always looking for success and wanted to be respected, also wanted to make good money, I worked hard to achieve all that but it all went to hell and now I just have to be happy to have a regular job and I have to deal with the fact that I might spend the rest of my days alone cause nobody can be interested in a woman who lost all her ability to conquer the opposite sex after a trauma. I feel really miserable right now.

Spring...i dont know, i dont think we should be all for ourselves. we must look after our friends and loved ones.

but we shouldnt pity others. not having pity is a good thing. i've realized...

suppose you are walking on the street with a dog and you see a homeless man in rags, burnt wounds, guts flowing out of his belly. you'd feel sorry for him, pity him.

now what if that person is a loved one. i doubt you'd ever use the word pity here, you'd immediately take him to the hospital. that's concern there, not pity or 'aww poor homeless man.'

it does feel good to help others, but i wouldnt take up social work as a primary hobby.

jaus tail wrote:i remember the fire i had within me before this bpd challenge, that started a year ago with diagnosis and symptoms aggravating.

do you guys remember the fire you guys had within you, no depression, the passion, the belief that you could take over the world

how do you reignite that fire...

I have no memory of ever feeling that way. I've been depressed my whole life.

But there must've been some pleasant memories in your life? Even though I have bpd, there are times when I'm in euphoria and sense a calm in my mind.

jaus tail wrote:But there must've been some pleasant memories in your life? Even though I have bpd, there are times when I'm in euphoria and sense a calm in my mind.

there was one time I was happy, but there were still negative factors to the thing that made me happy, and it didn't last. I don't think I've ever been outright euphoric, other than when high on drugs. and I've rarely experienced any true feeling of calm.