Several big triggers are happening all at once

This past month has become a perfect storm where lots of the major issues I struggle with have all been brought up at once. I'm being replaced by my best friend by a woman who will drink with her since I quit. My mom's side of the family has walled me out. I've asked my cousin's husband point blank what is going on and he read the message but didn't respond. My wedding is coming up and all those dynamics will be very difficult. My one friend I still trust is living far away. The organist at Church who dislikes me said negative things to my paranoid schizophrenic Uncle who wrote me a letter attacking me. He claimed if my grandparents were alive they would want him to say that. Friends and family abandoning me has always been a trigger. I've had a lot of trouble with theatre and music people in the past that has made a lot of self esteem things worse. I'm so angry at my uncle but I can't do anything. It's too much at once and I'm feeling myself putting up walls. I can also feel myself closing off the struggles so people around me will think I'm ok. I don't want to make friends in my cosmetology class starting next month because I know they'll just get bored or annoyed by me like everyone else.

I'm really sorry for all that you're going through. I know what it's like to have people who were once close friends, turn their back on you now that you no longer drink. You learn just how good some friends really aren't.

I wish I had some answer on how to deal with having half of your family walling you out. Hopefully, it's only a misunderstanding in perception. Not having seen it firsthand, I can't say, but I hope against hope that that's all it is. I don't know why your cousin's husband hasn't responded yet. When did you ask him? Was it recently?

As for your uncle, if he continually sends you such triggering letters, your safest bet is to either not read the letters altogether and simply shred them, envelope and all, or have your fiancé read them and vet them for you, before you get to read them. Just a thought...

I know it's scary, but go ahead, make friends in your cosmetology class! One of them may surprise you. More people are understanding of us than we give them credit for, so give them a chance to be understanding in the first place.

I know how you feel. That is a LOT you're dealing with and I know how much it can hurt. One of my own friends likes to point out how "interesting" I am and usually lets me know I am also crazy - it hurts and she knows I have BPD. I try to blow it off though because I don't want to lose her friendship even though she can be insensitive about my issues. So, yeah, I know how it feels when a friend isn't really being the friend you need. And feeling replaced? $#%^, that would hurt.

That being said, I am really proud of you that you're going to cosmetology school. You will definitely be in a fresh environment and hey, you're bound to make new friends. It sounds like a step in the right direction, honestly.

Thanks, guys It's been one of those when it rains it pours things. I also found out the roommate my fiance and I had for half a year and made a huge effort to hang out with and be patient with even though she was very difficult to get along with. I even tried to put up with her cat that was really mean because the cat made her happy. Though by the end I was glad she moved out, I still kept things civil since we did have that history. I found out she deleted me from facebook and felt very betrayed and was just dealing with that abandonment. Then the stuff with both sides of my family and my fiance's side of the family, and now my friend's new bestie. I think once I just get through the start of cosmetology school and the stress of the wedding is over next month I'll be able to try to process some of this stuff. My usual therapist comes back from maternity leave soon.