For the 1st time in my life, I don't feel completely alone.

Hi guys. I'm brand new to the site and to borderline forums in general. I was diagnosed about 15 yrs ago, but kept the diagnosis from friends, family, coworkers & even my husband until last yr. My life has been pure hell at times...especially now that I have two teenagers diagnosed with it as well.

I don't know what other non BPD people think when they land on this forum, but I personally have enjoyed the last 20 minutes immensely. I'm sorry for everyone's sadness and struggles. I am in no way am trying to invalidate that. It just feels good to hear other people that were thinking the same thoughts that I have at times..or to read about how someone reacted in a socially inappropriate way and regretted it once they had calmed down. You guys almost make me feel normal again.

Here's one thing that I've noticed throughout the years. We may be a little "different" from the majority, but we bring so many unique qualities to the table as well. BPD may feel like a curse or struggle at times, but it's also been a blessing in my life. I get easily bored, so it has motivated me to become educated on many different topics. I don't like superficiality, so I have been able to have very personalconversations with strangers where they have indicated that I helped them. It took me a lot of years, but I'm finally realizing who I am. I'm a researcher.. I'm someone that takes on the emotions of others.. I'm someone that can't take a stand because I always see both sides..

Right now I am just someone that has just found a group of people who make sense to me..that make me laugh and who make me feel empathy. For the first time, I don't feel completely alone.

that's good.

good for you.

That is awesome, and inspiring! I think a lot of borderlines have a love/hate relationship with their diagnosis. The condition isn't entirely detrimental, and I love talking about how the emotional intensity borderlines feel is because we don't possess the bodies to regulate and contain them. We have superhuman emotions! But with great highs, also comes the depth of the lows.

You are definitely not alone. In the little time I have been here, it is just amazing at how many of you know how it is, and what it is like living this way. The stories and experiences are very relatable, and it has been a joy being here thus far.

My therapist is also very glad that I sought out online support from these forums. She told me that it was very non-borderline to do so. So I echo that to all of you who frequent here.

As for non-bpd's who come here... Very likely as a result for caring for someone who is borderline or exhibits the symptoms... I really hope they are learning a thing or two and helps with coping and dealing with their borderline loved one.

It makes me feel really good to read your post. I feel the same way at times. I used to wonder what the heck was wrong with me and why I had to suffer through this alone, then I came here and when I read posts a lot of them sound as if they've been pulled straight from my own thoughts.

I struggle a lot with my identity, at times not wanting to be defined by bpd, but other times really embracing the unique qualities I have because of it. You are right that, in some ways, it is a blessing.

ratkid wrote:It makes me feel really good to read your post. I feel the same way at times. I used to wonder what the heck was wrong with me and why I had to suffer through this alone, then I came here and when I read posts a lot of them sound as if they've been pulled straight from my own thoughts.

I struggle a lot with my identity, at times not wanting to be defined by bpd, but other times really embracing the unique qualities I have because of it. You are right that, in some ways, it is a blessing.

THIS!

And omg, when I first came to the forum I called my mom and read her posts from the forum "You know you are BPD when..." we both laughed so much at it. I was laughing out of happiness of seeing that there are other people that feel like me and she was laughing out of realization that her daughter is not a psychotic eccentric brat.