want to move out of state and get a fresh start

Hey folks im a 26 year old man struggling with bpd and im working part time and returning to college. I have lived on long island for my whole life and I despise this place with all of my heart. I am three months into a dbt program and while I attend it faithfully, I dont find it very helpful. I am well travelled and have been to most of the us and would really like to live and finnish school in maybe arizona or california I'm just afraid that if I moved away from my family that's my symptoms might make life very difficult.I do not feel however that living in fear is a good way to live I don't want to think that my life is constantly going to be in jeopardy because of this illness and I won't be able to do the things I want to do out of fear of relapse have any of you ever made any big decisions like moving out of state and if so is it possible for someone with BPD to live on their own in a new environment is it wrong of me to want to venture out of this place? do I stand a chance?

Of course it can be done. What i suggest however is making a plan before moving out. Make sure you have a place to live, etc. You said you are well traveled so this means you already have an idea of whats ''in store'' so to say. Does your family offer you emotional/financial support right now? Do you work?

An ex girlfriend of mine who was also borderline thought a fresh start would be really good for her and her daughter, so she moved from Victoria, Australia all the way to the other side of the country and settled in Perth. Well, much like the movie Poltergeist, you can go to another location, but the demons move with you. In fact, she got worse because she left the friends that actually stood by her side, and could not create real, solid friendships in Perth due to her condition. So she was all alone.

So, I don't exactly know what your intentions are from relocating, but just remember that wherever you go, the BPD goes with you. However, if the area you are currently at just triggers you constantly, then it might be best to get out of dodge as it isn't doing you any good.

Just think things through thoroughly, when you are at tranquil state, and avoid leaving on impulse.

^ I was thinking about that. Your issues definitely come with you, and its something to take into consideration, but i think sometimes its fine to change your life and try something new, as long as you dont do it on an impulse like you mentioned. It would be a pity to not take advantage of new opportunities or follow your dreams because of the disorder i think. But, careful planning

Not to be a parrot, but I agree that if you do decide to move away that in addition to having a set plan for getting settled, make sure for your emotional well being that you have a support system where you go, or that your support system will be accessible over long-distance.

While packing up and moving away may seem like a good idea, I can also see it leading to isolation if you find yourself somewhere where you don't really know anyone, don't quite feel like you fit in and/or the people aren't friendly/accepting or just a good fit for you.

Do you mind me asking what your experience with DBT has been like and what sort of disappointments you've had? I'm on a waiting list and somewhat unsure as to what to expect...

I've moved to different parts of the country on two occasions. I agree that it's important to have some sort of support system. It's difficult being in a whole new area and not knowing anyone and having to start all new friendships and relationships.

For me, I lived for 3 months in each area and then moved back to my home state. The allure of moving to a new area was much more interesting than in actuality for me. I did learn a lot about myself though and it gave me a wider perspective on people in general.

I would also recommend having a job lined up BEFORE moving. Especially in this economy. You don't want to be penniless in a brand new state and have that added stress on top of moving.

hey guys it's me again I'm sorry it took so long to respond. I had to log in on this account because I couldn't figure out how to get into my other one that I originally Posted this topic from. I currently work 20 hours a week as a security guard and also go to school and I'm close to finishing my associates degree. I also forgot to mention I'm on Social Security. I am 3 months into a DBT program that's a year long while I dont find dbt to be particularly helpful to my symptoms of behavior I plan on finishing the program in its entirety. like I said I grew up in Nassau County New York which is one of the most expensive counties in all of the United States a true rat race over populated overpriced and about as aggressive as it can get I'm not a fast pace person and I find living here detrimental to my mental health not to mention in a place where it cost between 900 to well over 1000 dollars a month to rent a tiny studio apartment and when you're making $10 an hour on the books that's just not possible fortunately my family is very supportive and help me out tremendously I have to say of all the places in the United States that I've traveled to my favorite is the deserts of the southwest I could totally see myself living in somewhere like Arizona or Nevada and the cost of living in the States is a tiny fraction of what it cost to live in New York I struggle tremendously with symptoms of this disorder I have mood swings depression and still engage in target behaviors but I've managed to keep myself out of the hospital for 4 years living with this disorder is very difficult especially with the black and white thinking and ra and loneliness but just sit back and not take a chance out of fear of what could happen is absolutely no way to live as much as this disorder makes my life difficult I am not willing to let it define mean what place limitations on me all I know is that New York is not a place I want to live and try to make a life for myself I try my best to keep my symptoms under control and I have friends that care deeply for me I try my very best not to push them away with my mood swings and clingyness but I just have that old fashioned feeling that it's time to get the hell out of here. I why not one more semester school ride DBT out until December and plan my exodus from this s******* thank you everyone for your words of wisdom and encouragement I think we can all agree that setting limitations on ourselves because of our illness is no way to live your life

I think you're doing great and i wish you the best in your endeavors.